Cute but Funny

I only night out on two occasions. 1. When its my birthday 2. When its not.
____

Boss: What present you need on you anniversary.. Employee: Allow me to have 6 month vacation, twice a year.
____

I often get depressed when the person I hate is breathing!
____

Some songs wake up my inner stripper.
____

Yes I am mature but my it depends on who I'm with..

Anytime Fun

My friend called me at 2am and asked-
'Hey how are you, are you sleeping?'
Me: OMG, nope, i am just skydiving!! Strange.

---

Yes, your opinion matters... but just not to me!

---

I know I am ugly but I ask people and call myself ugly, No on agree with me.

---

Earlier people love to study and eager for knowledge but now-- I don't need sleeping pills. I just have books..

---

Accept it when you are in home alone and hear noises you feel like you are gonna die..

---

Wow interesting story, friend - but don't mind as I always yawn when I am fond of them.

Sometimes i angry so much with the morning alarm, but the only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock today's morning is the truth that it was my cell.

Just Kiding

I often wish I could just put my hand through my computer screen and grab whatever I wanted.

Do you know that You are the reason why I wake up every morning.. Just kidding, I have go to office.

Intelligent automatic flushing toilet! Pl wait, I am bot finished yet. calm down!

Whenever you ever feel bad about your work or life, just think about that man who is out there typing up the terms and conditions.

Just because I am laughing, It doesn't mean that I have dropped my idea of of hitting on your face.