Short Jokes - Funny Jokes

Short Jokes

2012-02-02T07:25:00.000-08:00

'Short jokes and funny jokes to read daily updated best pranks for dose of fun, laughter and entertainment'

'Short jokes on various topics'

My dear God, I pray you to bless with the virtue of patience..
But I want it right now..
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A man calls up White House and says: Can I be the next President?
Officer: Are you an idiot?
Man: Why? Is it compulsory?
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Wife: I am going to make you the happiest man tonight..
Hubby: It is 12 PM and who is going to help you in packing this time, So please do not joke..
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Man at book store: I need a book on topic 'Short ideas on full control on women'
Salesman: Pl move into our next row of 'fiction section'.
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Ricky: Do not fight with girls..
John: Why?
Ricky: Because they always carry their two weapons with them: Cosmetics and tears !!
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Man at gift shop: I want to buy a ladies wrist watch..
Shopkeeper asked shortly: Do you want it for your spouse or should i show you a branded one??
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Boss: You know you should never hold your farts in..
Officer: Why?
Boss: Because then they travel up to your spine and goes into the brain, and that is where bad ideas origin from...
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After death, man asks to the hell manager: Can i make a short call to my spouse?
Hell manager: OK.
Man after call: How much should i pay for it?
Hell manager: Nothing, hell to hell is free of cost..
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Uncle: Dear, tell me that what can we do to stop polluting our waters?
Nephew: Simply, we should stop taking baths?
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Son: Pl tell me the difference between mom and wife?
Dad: One who brings you into this great world crying and the another ensures you continue crying..
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Husband: Am i look like a fool?
Wife: No at all, but what is the value of my opinion compared to that of hundreds of others !!
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Girl: There is a big problem with your face..
Boy: What?
Girl: It shows !!
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Experience says: There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman:
Before marriage and after marriage !!
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Teacher: You know kids, where there is a will..
One kid added: There are hundreds of relatives behind !
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Nicky: What is the example of good, bad and worst thing in life.
Sam: Your spouse does not speak to you, She is going for divorce, She has a lawyer degree !
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Man: Husband are like..
Women: They are like car tyre. Just good on their first year only !!
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Manager: Do you know the height of laziness?
Employee: Yes, It is when you adopt a child !
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60 years old Hubby: Do you get upset when i run to flirt with other ladies?
Spouse: No way! Lots of dogs run towards cars but it doesn't mean that they can drive it.
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A salesman hugs a girl..
Girl: What the hell is this?
Salesman: It is direct marketing..
Girl slaps him..
Salesman: What is this?
Girl: It is a customer's feedback !
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Q: What is the difference between a man who is buying a lottery ticket and a man who is arguing with his wife?
A: Lottery ticket buyer has still some chances to win.
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Boy asked to his gym coach: I want to impress my girlfriend, Pl suggest me which machine should i use?
Gym Coach: Best machine to impress any girl is an ATM Machine.
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Grandson: What is the secret of happy and satisfied married life?
Grandfather: My dear, It is still a secret.
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One man bought two fishes and named them 1 and 2.
His friend asked: Why did you name these fishes 1 and 2?
Man replied: If 1 dies still i have 2..
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Bad Man: I really feel bad for the people who do not drink or booze.
Good Man: Why so?
Bad Man: Because some day they will go to hospital and die without knowing the reason.
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When you are in hospital, your friends ask: Hey, hi, how are you dear?
But your best friends ask: Hey buddy, how is the nurse?
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Harry: Can you tell me, what is the best way to remember my wife's birthday?
John: It's very simple, Just forget it once.
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Person visited psychiatrist office and psychiatrist said: You are Mad..
He asked him to give a second opinion and he said: You are ugly too.
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Shelly: I think you must have taken birth in the highway..
Tom: Why you think so?
Shelly: Because that is the place where all major accidents happen.
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Sim: Why it is hard to find the boys who are handsome, sensitive, caring and gentle?
Jaine: Because they already have a boyfriend.
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Husband messaged to his wife: Dear, I am just having my last glass of beer and coming home within 40 minutes and if i don't reach, Pl read same message again.
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Kristine: I am giving a grand party on my 19th birthday. Are you coming to attend it?
James: No, i attended that four years ago.
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Man: My wife is short of sense and scares a lot from water.
Friend: But how do you know this?
Man: Yesterday, when i reached home, she was in bath tub with the security guard.
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Steve: I have had bad luck with my both wives.
Angelina:Tell me, how?
Steve: The first wife left me and second one didn't.
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What is the different in in bride-groom and adopted dog?
After 2 years, dog is still love to have fun with you..
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Michal: Why women live longer, better and peaceful life?
John: Because, they don't have a wife.
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Q: What to do to spend happy life with women?
A: Well, you must love her but do not try to understand her.
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Patient: Doctor, i only have 55 short seconds to live..
Doctor: Pl wait, I'll attend you in a minute..
Patient: What a joke!
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Girl: Do you know that married men live longer than single man do?
Boy: Do you know married men have more willing to die.
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Engineer: Please drag folder to the right of the screen..
Funny client: Sir, your right or mine?
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Man: What is a century like to you?
God: It is like a short second.
Man: What is billion dollars like to you?
God: Like a penny..
Man: Can i have a penny?
God: How funny.. Just wait for a second..
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Son: Why do barbers become good drivers shortly?
Father replied in short: Because they know all the short cuts..
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First friend: Dear, i love lipsticks, they are very tasty.
Next Day..
Second friend: You are liar, i bought 10 lipsticks and ate them..
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A man was removing two wheels from his car.
A girl asked him: what are you doing??
Man: Can't you see the board, "Parking for two wheelers only".
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For me, a train station is where trains stop,
A bus station is where buses stop,
In my office, i have work station.
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Kid: What is husband and wife?
Granny: Husband is the head of the family but wife is the neck,
which can turn head anywhere.
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Hubby: I have noticed that you are searching for blood subject book. Why?
Spouse: Because i am going for blood test and i want to achieve highest !!
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Cristine: You know, behind every successful man, there is a woman!
Michal: But behind every unsuccessful man, there are two..
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Music Lover: You know, i love life but there is a one big trouble with it.
Girl: What?
Music Lover: There is no background music.
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Males want to get married because they are tired and stressed; Females do because they are so curious; but very shortly both face disappointment..
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Jacky: I worry too much about my work and job.
Anson: You should Stop it right now
Jacky: Why?
Anson: Simply because you are not paid enough to worry.
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Short and famous Proverb: Mamma's baby but Papa's maybe..
"Total absence of humor renders life impossible" ~ Collete
'Short jokes are capable of spreading fun and fun never ends here..'

Short and Cute Jokes

2012-02-02T03:13:00.000-08:00

Short cute jokes to let you laugh on cute things and cute situations. Cuteness exists everywhere. The fun and humor both are there to make us laugh and reduce our day to day tensions. The person who laughs a lot is the luckiest person. The pain and diseases stay far way from them So here are some short and cute jokes to make your smile.

Father talks about his son..
Father: I am very tensed because my son does not listen to anything whatever i say to him.
Friend: It is really strange. Is he so adamnant?
Man 1: Well not at all but he is deaf...
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Sweet kids, Just like you?
Friend1: How cute your kids are: They just look as good as you..
Friend2: Pl be silent and say slowly, They are not mine kids, They are our neighbor's kids.
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I love my husband..
Jania: I just love my husband and so happy that he is so well mannered.
Suzie: I am surprised how can you tell this? I heard that he arrested and imprisoned for 3 years.
Jania: Yes, it is true but haven't you heard that he got out after 1 years just for good behavior inside..
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Wife does not care..
Michal: I am so sad, my wife does not care for me. I just want to grab her attention.
Sunny: It is so easy, you have to o one thing..
Michal: What , tell me, i can do anything for this..
Sunny: Just try to look Happy and comfortable..
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Today morning, i saw a girl..
Wife: Do you know today morning, I saw an attractive and cute Girl.
Husband: Oh wow. Great! So what next?
Wife: I just could not stop myself from raising her.. She is an angel.
Husband in anger: Will you please tel me where you saw her?
She Smiled and replied: In the Mirror while i was doing make up..
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Men after drink..
Men after drink with a stranger..
He said: Where are you from?
Another drunk one replied: I am from a great place where people do not end a sentence with a preposition.
Where are you from fool? He asked again..
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Patient and doctor..
Patient to Doctor: I am so tired. Do you know that i searched whole town but unable to get your prescribed medicines .
Doctor: Oh no !! it was you who theft mine scribble slips!
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Married men experience..
After asking from all married men experience we can say that the Marriage is the only process of searching out what type of man your spouse would have preferred.
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We all are time travelers..
Father: World is like a train, we all are time travelers moving at the speed of exactly sixty minutes per hour..

Short Jokes about Animals

2012-01-28T22:18:00.000-08:00

'Short jokes about animals to laugh on their silly actions'

Do you know that why are the Lions like a tampon?
Yes, they are only good for one period and have no second string.

Do you know ion's favorite food?
Baked beings !

Why are lions so religious?
Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!

I surprise why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet!

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower

Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
Growlcho Marx!

What is the dogs favorite city?
New Yorkie!

Why are dogs such bad dancers?
They have two left feet.

Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
Because you can't bury them in trees!

What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A spelling bee!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A sourpuss!

How can if you have a mad dog?
It chases parked cars!

Once a female was going in the park when she sees a man playing chess with his cat. She said:: I can not believe on this, a cat plays chess, wow ! what a clever cat! Man answered: No No The cat is not that clever, you know I m beating it 5 games to 1?

Where do cats write down notes?
Scratch Paper!

What do you call a cat Who’s joined the Red Cross?
A first-aid kit!

What’s a cat’s favorite food?
It is Petatoes!

What do you call it when a cat stops?
A paws!

How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold?
He has cat-arrh!

Where did the kittens go on their class trip?
To a mewseum.

What is a cat's favourite dessert?
Mice pudding.

What’s every cat’s favorite song?
Three Blind Mice!

What kind of work does a weak cat do?
Light mouse work.

What is the name of that key which does not open any door?
Of-course a monkey

Do you know that what do monkeys do for fun and entertainment?
They share jokes about people

What will you call a Monkey in a garden?
Plant Manager

Which side of a monkey has lots of hair?
It is outside.

If ten monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?
ten after one

What a banana says to the monkey?
Bananas don't really speak..

Funny Short Jokes about Black People

2012-01-21T03:11:00.000-08:00

Black Jokes - Funny Short Jokes about Black People to read the funny instances'

Once a black man walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot with him on his shoulder. Bartender said: "wow, that is great, where's you it?"
'From Africa', Parrot replied..
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How do engineers make the roads in South Africa?
Engineers usually make the black people lay down and have every other one smile..
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Norine:: Tel me, what do you call a black guy who goes to college?
Rosie: Hmm, a basketball player..
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Did you know what do they do with blacks after they die?
Very simple, They gut them and use them as wetsuits.
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Once a stressed and tensed black boy was praying..
God decided to answer his questions..
Black Boy: God, why are my legs so long?
God: It is so that you can run like the wind through the jungle.
Black Boy: Pl answer, why is my hair so kinky?
God: Because it won't get caught on anything as you run through the jungle.
Black Boy: God, why is my skin so dark and black?
God: Because that you won't get burned by the sun's intense rays in the jungle.
Black Boy: And then the black guy asked, "God, why am I in Chicago?"
God: Silent..
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Do you know why are all black people fast?
Yes, because the slow ones are in jail.
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What to call vietnamese guy that wants to be black?
Vinegar!
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What do you call ten black people in the back of a truck?
A good days hunting.
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It is hard being black. We get the bad end of the deal with every sport. Hockey your slappin a black puck around. Pool you have a white ball trying to knock you in a hole. The only thing we have is bowling, where you have a black ball trying to knock down a bunch of rednecks.
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Why do black women where high heels?
So their knuckles don't drag.
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What do you call a black with a new caddies?
A better thief.
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What do you call a black man in a tree?
Of course, a branch manager.
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How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
No one, because it's a woman's job.
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Once a white guy was walking out and he stumbled upon an old lamp hidden away in a some remote place.
He lifted up that lamp and rubbed it a genie emerged:
Lamp said: I am the genie of the lamp and I can grant you three wishes.
The guy was happy with his good fortune and asked: I wish that i never have to work in life, i should be able to have any woman I dream for, and i should be able to keep it up all the nights.
And suddenly, the genie turned him into a nigger...
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Why do you never hit a black on a bike?
Because it is probably your bike.
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What does a black person get for Christmas?
Your bike!!!
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How do you keep black people out of your back yard?
Hang one in the front!!
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Why do black people wear hats covering their face?
So the birds don't shit on their lips.
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What is the difference between a black and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
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Why are black people so tall?
Because their knee grows.
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You are so black you blead coffee.

You are so black you could leave a hand print in charcoal.

You are so black you went to night school and the teacher counted you absent.
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What is black, purple,and yellow?
Well, A black person goin to church..

Short Knock Knock Jokes

2011-09-25T08:26:00.000-07:00

'Kids love short knock knock jokes and here you can enjoy some of the best'

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Cash!
Cash who?
Cash me if you can!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Teddy.
Teddy who?
Teddy is the starting of the rest of all your life!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Water!
Water who?
What are you doing!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
General Lee!
General Lee who?
Generally i don't tell jokes!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Tank!
Tank who?
You are welcome!

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
I love.
I love who?
I don't know, you tel me!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
OK, w.h.o.!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and answer the door!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Ya.
Ya who?
No, i prefer Google!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Sue.
Sue who?
Nobody!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Just the doctor!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Max.
Max who?
Max no difference to you, just open up and let me in!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend!

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Police stop telling these awful knock, knock jokes!

Short Funny Jokes

2010-01-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

'Short funny jokes section to make more smiling faces around'

Sandy: Me and my wife were very happy for eighteen years.
Nicky: then?
Sandy: Then we met and we our happiness disappeared..
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Dad: What is the name of an important thing we have today but we did not have that 12 years ago?
Son: Its me..
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Man: Do you know that i used to have a handle on life, but..
Friend: But what happened?
Man: But it broke!!
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Patient: What is the cost of plastic surgery?
Doctor: It is near about 5,000$.
Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic?
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Son: Why is the bride dressed in cute sweet white dress?
Mother: Because this is the most happiest day of her life.
Son: Than why is boy dressed in black?
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Teacher: What do you give sick bird?
Student: Tweetment..
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Q: Why do the politicians look like funny and short diapers?
A: Because they need to be changed frequently for the same reason!
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Harry: Why are so unhappy?
Mack: Jasmine said to me that she is not going to talk with me for 10 days and today is the 10th day..
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Do you know why God made man before woman?
Yes because God wanted to give him time to think of an answer for her first question..
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Passenger: How much would you take me shortcut to my home?
Driver: 5$.
Passenger: And how much for my luggage?
Drive: Oh sir, that goes free..
Passenger: Fine, take my luggage only and i will go home by walk..
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Tenant: Sorry, i can't pay my rent this month.
Landlord: What a joke? You said the same words previous month..
Tenant: Yes sir, i kept my words..
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Tom: I often get nervous and frightened during driving testes.
Psychologist: Don't worry, You will pass it eventually.
Tom: But sir, i am the Examiner..
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Once a short funny fat man was walking through the road and nearby some naughty guys were playing football..
They lost their football and saw this short fat man. One of the boy shouted "Is that your tummy or you swallowed our football?"
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Tom: Can you imagine this world without men?
Harry: Wow, there would be no crime and lots of happy fat women around..
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There are lots of faults with women.
But sweet men have only two faults: Whatever they say. Whatever they do.
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Spouse: I wish I was daily newspaper.. so I would be in your hands whole day.
Hubby: Me too wish the same.. so I could have a fresh and new one daily.

****

Short Jokes on Waiters

2009-12-16T05:29:00.000-08:00

'Customers and waiters funny arguments and situations.'

Customer: There is a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes, boss, they are not very good swimmers..
_________

Short tempered Customer: What is the meaning of this cockroach in my salad?
Waiter: How would i know sir, i am not a fortune teller..
_________

Short Man: Waiter, do you have chicken legs?
Waiter: No sir, i always walk like this..
_________

Customer: Waiter come here shortly, I can't eat this chicken, call the manager.
Waiter: What is the benefit, he won't eat it either!
_________

Old man: Waiter, this dish tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? then why are you not laughing?
_________

Girl: Waiter, there is fly in my soup.
Waiter: Don't worry mam, it won't drink much!!
_________

Customer: There is a dead fly in my bean soup.
Waiter: Oh No! this hot soup must have killed it boss.
_________

Customer: There is the short fly in the butter.
Waiter: Yes sir, it is a short butterfly!
_________

Man: Waiter, this coffee is like mud.
Waiter: Yes sir, it's fresh ground.

***

"Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully." ~Max Eastman

Short Insurance Jokes

2009-11-13T21:59:00.000-08:00

'Insurance jokes to share the best and funny events of insurance industry.'

Tom: Me and my spouse both have bought life insurance policy for one another.
Angel: Good, Now?
Tom: Now, it is just a wait and watch game!

*****

God: What is an insurance policy?
Dead Man: A contract that keeps us poor all in your life so that you can die rich..

*****

Son: What is the best thing about turning 70?
Father: In short, no more calls from any insurance policy seller..

*****

One month ago i bought a retirement policy.
All i have to do is keep making the payment for a short period of 20 years and agent can retire well.

*****

Q: How the agents greet each others?
A: "Hi, pleasure to meet you, I am better than you."

*****

Q: What is the worst thing in your short life than death?
A: Spending an evening with an agent?

*****

"Do not let me force you in hasty decision. Go and sleep tonight and if you wake up in morning, call me and we will go ahead!" Said insurance agent to hie prospect..

*****

Husband taken a life insurance policy for his wife..
Second day he calls to insurance agent: How much i can claim if my wife dies today?
Insurance agent: Sir, approx fifteen years behind the bars...

*****

Boss: Tell me the difference between insurance company manager and a don?
Employee: Sir, the insurance company's manager can predict how many customer will die but the don can count their names who will die..

*****

After lots of tests in hospital, Doctor said to widow patient: Sorry but you will live for another six months only.
Women shocked and asked: What should i do now?
Doctor suggested: You can marry to an insurance agent.
Women asked: Will that help me in live longer?
Doctor replied: No but it will seem longer!!

*****

Marie informed to insurance company: We had a claim for twenty thousand and want the claim now..
The insurance agent replied: Pl be patient, it doesn't work like that. First let us ascertain the value of loss and we will provide you the new one of same worth..
She paused and then said: OK, i want you to cancel the policy of my husband!!

Miscellaneous Short Jokes

2009-08-30T00:05:00.000-07:00

Passenger: Look, here are some tiger track!
Guide: Great, You look where they go and let me find out where they came from.

*****

Once a man catching flies..
Wife: What are you doing?
Husband: Cleaning home from flies and i killed 2 males and 3 females flies..
Wife: How do you know their gender?
Husband: I know because 2 were sitting on beer bottle and 3 were over the phone!

*****

Patient: I have one problem.
Doctor: which problem?
Patient: When i talk i can not see the person.
Doctor: when it happens?
Patient: On the Phone!

*****

Affair and Share..
British: No worry!
Chinese: Love to share!!
Russian: More than love!!!
Indian: Pl, don't share this with anyone!

*****

Boy: Come in my heart and stay here forever.
Girl: Should i remove my sleepers? (for beating)
Boy: No dear, its not a temple , come without removing!

*****

Mother: Do you know the full form of math?
Son: Yes, it is mentally affected teacher harassing students!!

*****

Mother: Can you do anything that others can not do?
Son: Yes, i can read my handwriting..

Shelly: I have noticed that when a man falls in love with a girl, he wants to go to alone.
John: But the truth is that when a woman falls in love, she wants to talk about it..

*****

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cure in the doctor's book."
~Irish Proverb

New Funny Short Jokes

2009-07-13T00:57:00.000-07:00

'Find our our new section of funny jokes to refresh you.'

First friend: Do you know, How to differentiate an old person from a young person?
Second friends: Very easy ! An old person can sing and brush their teeth simultaneously..
____

Employee: Boss, I can not believe on my wife. She goes to bar daily and do whatever she wants to do. She do not talk to me. What should i d?
Boss: Do not worry, take it easy, keep patience, calm down.. Now tell, what is the address, where she goes daily??
____

Teacher: How old your dad is?
Student : Miss, as old as me..
Teacher : How is that possible?
Kids: Simply because he became a dad only when I was born..
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Customer: Can you give me a towel?
Waiter: Yes, but please wait someone else is using it.
____

John: Why can't you play jokes on snakes?
Dacy: Simply, because you can't pull their legs..
____

Michal: Do yo know why women can't drive?
Lucy: Because there no road between the kitchen and the bedroom!
____

Britney: What is the example of positive thinking of short people?
Jazz: I am not short, i am fun sized...
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Teacher: What is the plural of mouse?
Student: Mice
Teacher: What is the plural of baby?
Student: Twins..
____

Jazz: My wife got me to believe in region..
Mack: Very funny.. How come?
Jazz: I experienced hell after marriage..
____

Professor: Why you were missing from last 2 days?
Student: I only have one short uniform and that was washed day before yesterday
Professor: And what about yesterday?
Student: I was passing through your home and found your dress drying so i returned back !!
____

Teacher: You scored zero marks on 500 words article..
Student: But i did well..
Teacher: You painted a picture..
Funny student: But that painting is worth 50 words..
____

Funny Rats Chat..
Rat1: I am so brave that i caught in rat trap and bit it very easily..
Rat2: Not done, me digested the whole bottle of rat poison and enjoyed..
Rat3: Bye, it is my time to go home to irritate the cat...
____

Dad: Which is better the moon or the sun?
Son: The Moon, because it gives us light at night when we really need it and sun gives light in day the time time when we do not really need it!
____

Girls always think about marrying a man expecting that he will change, but he doesn't..
Boys often think to marrying a woman expecting that she will never change and she does !!
____

Son: Girls do not understand me.
Mom: Why?
Son: Because they think that I have lots more issues than Life magazine. !!

***

"The secret of humor is surprise." ~Aristotle

Luaghter, Short Jokes and its Appropriate Time.

2009-03-02T09:54:00.000-08:00

It is being said that laughter is the best medicine but all things look good when the right time comes. I remember the time when my friends were cracking some short jokes and suddenly our teacher came in, at that time i was unable to stifle my laughter and as a result i was slapped by her. Jokes apart, it is a fact that you may offend someone by laugh during some serious moments. You may become victim of their anger.

So you must understand some situations where you should not try to short jokes:-

- When someone is unknown/unfamiliar about anything and does some mistakes, at that time do not laugh, even you should go and guide him/her. You will earn lot of respect.

- If there is some mishaps due to some negligence, you should not laugh. It can be happen with anybody.

- If someone fail in his/her efforts and gets demotivate, at that time you should support instead of making fun.

- You should see others reaction before laughing otherwise you will be a laughing stock for everyone.

- When some of your friend or family member is in deep tension, do not try to crack any short jokes. Just try to understand the situation and console him/her.

- When someone is cheated on by anyone or any tragedy happens, never laugh, he/she may not feel good at that time.

This is all about common sense and maturity. These are the basics and one should be clear about all this. Some short jokes have got material of criticism and may hurt someone's feelings, so better to take care of this. Fun, humor and laughter are being made for making everyone happy, not throwing comments on others. I am sure that by following these tips you will be consider as good human being and increase your friends list.

Life is really a wonderful but short journey. We should always follow the rule of right thing at right time. Many people do not have any grudges against anyone but still make everyone their enemy because they do not know what to say and when o say. So wait for appropriate time to explore your ability of creating fun and humor and crack your short jokes at right time with right person.

Laughter is Necessary for Good Health but Short Jokes are Essential for Laughter.

2009-03-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

Human needs are unlimited. I heard that when we wish for something, we become very aggressive to achieve it but as we get it, shortly another wish takes place. I found it true but this is a long and repeated journey. So it is always good to make a control on our desires. By doing this we able to live our present life and stop crying for short things.

So ideal way is to work with full of your energy and enjoy the things which come in your way. Short Jokes are the best medium to enjoy the present moment. Whenever we crack a jokes, we are not only making ourselves happy but we are giving a reason others to enjoy.

It has rightly been said that "you grow up on that day when you have your real laugh at yourself." It is easy to laugh on others but the day when you learn how to laugh at your own self is the day you learn how to live life.
When you laugh, you intake large amount of oxygen in huge gulps which is very good for your heart and healthy heart is the secret behind all success.
Here i would like to share some experts opinion and research about the value of laughter:-

Miller said that "the most significant study finding was that people with heart disease responded less humorously to everyday life situation." They laugh not much even the positive situations and they shown more anger and hostility.

Erma Bombeck said, "If i could live my life over, i would have laughed more." How beautifully she expressed the importance of laughter in our life.

Fun, humor and laughter are the reaffirmation of our life. There is lot of panic in everyone's life but laughter helps us to forget all the sorrows for a moment. It does not matter that how many problems are there in life but it really matters that how we deal with them. If the laughter is necessary for good health but short Jokes are essential for Laughter.

So I stick on that the way to happiness can be achieve by passing through the street of short jokes as they create fun and humor. I would like to share some plus points of cracking pranks:-

- It bring us in notice.
- It help us to keep away from negative thoughts.
- It is great way to live present moment.
- They polish our personality.
- It is the secret of good health.

When you can get all these great benefits with little efforts so what are you waiting for? Just start entertaining yourself as well as others.

Funniest Jokes

2009-02-11T23:34:00.000-08:00

'Enjoy our new section of best funniest jokes.'

True relatives always stand behind you during bad times.
Don't you believe that?
Cut to short,
Check out your marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind you..
__________

Husband: Tell me in short that have you ever cheated on me?
Wife: Yes, two times.
Husband yelled: when?
Wife: In 1995, when you needed leg plaster and we didn't have insurance. we were short of money and i had a doctor treated for you free.
second time: when you stood in election and you fallen short of 150 votes.!!!
__________

Friend: Is there any way to convert the short life into a long life?
Married friend: You also get married..
Friend: Will it help?
Married friend: No, but the thought of long life will never come again..
__________

Doctor: Do you watch your husband face while enjoyment?
Lady: Yes, i saw once and i saw lots of anger on his face.
Doctor: why, is he short temper?
Lady: No, because he was watching me from window...
__________

Salesman: What do you use for washing dishes?
Housewife: Well, i experimented on lots of things, but found my hubby best!
__________

Funny thing when people discuss arrange marriage Vs Love marriage.
It is like asking to someone that suicide is better than being hanged...
__________

Wishing you happy independence day.
Oh sorry, this massage is only for singles..
Married people, please ignore it..
__________

There are two days which are the best of a man's wedded life,
First: The days when he marries and second, when he buries his wife.
__________

Owner to Gardner: Go and water the plants.
Gardner: Sir, it is raining..
Owner: No excuses, you can use umbrella..
__________

'Don't use your mobile here' written on patrol pump.
Man immediately stated calling his friends to inform that don't call me now!
__________

A famous speaker said:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who
was not my wife"
Audience was in shock & silence.
He added: She was my Mother.
Applause!
A top manager tried to crack this at home.
After 2 drinks, he said loudly to his wife in kitchen,,
Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not
my wife. Standing for a moment to recall the second half, he finally
blurted out..
I can not remember who she was.
By the time he regained his sense, he was on a hospital bad, recovering from burns
of boiling water.
Moral: Do not copy if you can not Paste!!
__________

To girls, love is an occupation.
To boys, a preoccupation.

****

"In one day an average person will take about 18000 steps."

Funny Interesting Fun Facts

2009-02-02T07:46:00.000-08:00

'Funny interesting fun facts in the history of world'

Did you know that symbolics dot com was the first ever domain name registered online?

Do you know that cow can produce around 2 lac glasses of milk in her life time.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up in the sky.

9 million people share birthday with you.

All women have the better sense of smell than men.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Did you know that Hippo milk is pink?

Every year you blink 4,200,000 times.

160 cars can drive side by side on Monumental Axis in Brazil, the world's widest road.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

A snail can sleep for 3 years.

The ice cream is a Chinese food.

Thailand's capital Bangkok means "City of angels".

There is no tipping at restaurants in Japan.

Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

25% of your bones are located in your feet.

Colgate's first toothpaste came in jar.

An individual loses more than 200 hair in a day.

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

If you catch a falling leaf on the first day of autumn you will not catch a cold all winter.

A pregnant goldfish is called twit.

Singapore means "Lion city".

Tuesday is known as the most productive day of the workweeks.

15 percent of Americans secretly bite their toes.

Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

A baby octopus is about the size of a flea at birth.

Placing keys on a table is considered unlucky.(Sweden)

The first product that the toy company Mattel came out with was picture frames.

90% of women who walk into a department store immediately turn to the right.

Do you know that the numbers of female millionaire is more that male millionaire in the U.S.A.

There is no tipping at restaurants in japan.

Singapore means "Lion city".

The most productive day of the workweek is Tuesday.

Lots of Funny Actions in Public Place

2009-02-01T22:31:00.000-08:00

10 funny actions which you can try while shopping or hanging out to amuse people.

1. See where is alarm clock and set the alarm of ten minute interval.
2. Ride some little electrical car in front of shops.
3, when you walk on ground, sing in your loudest voice possible.
4. Land play with automatic doors.
5. Find their security camera and behave it like a mirror, make faces in front of it.
6. When some friend walking ahead of you, run between them making some whistles.
7. See some gym bags and try to attempt to fit in a very large gym bag.
8. Examine the check out area and try to check out people.
9. Try to hold some indoor shopping cart races.
10. Relax in their luxury furniture until you kicked out.

There are some more things you can do to irritate others.

Don't break the eye contact.

Drop some water balloons from your the balcony.

Don't make the eye contact.

Invite your friends to other friend's party.

Ask people for their gender.

Never use any punctuation.

Promise to meet friends on 30 February.

Repeat people's questions.

Change the program at the climax of scene.

Sick paper at the mid of pages.

Give same reaction at every party.

Some funny things on elevator.

Invite people for group hug eagerly.

Drop your pen silently and when someone bends to lift it, yell "Oh, That's mine!!"

Hold the doors open for long time and say you friend is coming. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Shawn.. whats up?"

Keep your camera with you and take pictures of everyone in the elevator and say smile please!

Try to create some explosion noises as someone presses any button.

Imaginary draw a square space on the floor and say to the other people that "It is my personal space, stay away!"

Request others to push the button for them, but intentionally push the wrong one.

Tap others people on the their shoulders and hide suddenly and pretend that it wasn't you who did this.

Whenever you reach coming floor, utter "Ding Dong!"
____

It makes sure that you create lots of funny moments and laughter while spreading these funny actions resulting short jokes.

******

"When your face blushes, the lining of your stomach also turns red."

Short Funny Riddles

2009-02-01T08:39:00.000-08:00

Q1: It is a challenging fact and no one has solution if you find, please share!
Go on your desktop, do right click and make a new folder.
Now save save it by name "con". You can not do it.!

Q2: What is the only thing you break when you say its name?

Q3: Can you spell cute girt with two letter?

Q4: What is it that only increases but never decreases?

Q5: You have to break it if you want to use it?

Q6: When you have it, you want to share it, but as you share it, you don't have it?

Q7: Find the word in dictionary which is written incorrectly.?

Q8: When does a jokes becomes a father?

Q9: What is the question you ask all the day and no matters what the answers are, they would still be correct?

Q10: What has arms and legs but no heads?

Q11: What runs but never walks?

Q12: What has no beginning, no end, and nothing in the middle?

Q13: What can you catch but not throw?

Q14: What is a cat on ice?

Q15: What does a cat have but that no other animal has?

Q16: What is the thing which more you have, the less you see?

Q17: What is the thing that is everything to someone but nothing to everyone else?

Q18: A farmer had seventeen cows, all but nine died, how many did he have left now?

Q19: We use it daily and the more it dries, the wetter it gets. Think about it?

Q20: The more you take, the more you leave in your behind. Think, what are they?
________________________________________________

Find the answers:

A2: Silence

A3: QT

A4: Age

A5: Egg

A6: Secret

A7: Incorrectly

A8: When the catch line becomes apparent. (a parent)

A9: What is the time?

A10: Chair

A11: Water

A12: A doughnut

A13: A Cold

A14: Cool Cat

A15: Kittens

A16: Darkness

A17: Your Own Mind

A18: Nine

A19: Towel

A20: Your own foot steps

Short Jokes with Funny Question - Answers

2009-02-01T06:36:00.000-08:00

Here we go:-

Q: What are those two things which are necessary to keep your wife happy.
A: The first is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it..

Q: What is the difference between husband and boyfriend?
A: 30 minutes!

Q: How do you know that the earth won't come to an end?
A: Because it is round!

Q: What has a head and a tail but there is no body?
A: It is a coin.

Q: What does letter 'T' and island have in common?
A: Well, they both are in the middle of the water..

Q: What does the statue of liberty stand for?
A: Because it can not sit down.

Q: Why doesn't Law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law, one can not be punished twice for the same offense!!!

Q: Why can not your nose be 12" long?
A: Because it would be a foot.

Q: What do you call when a truck runs over your toe?
A: A toe truck!!!

Q: Where does a math student eat his lunch?
A: At the multiplication table.

Q: What would you call a super man when he lost his power?
A: A man!!!

Q: Where do sheep go to hair cut?
A: The baa baa shop!!

Q: What do you cal a funny box with six ducks in?
A: A box of quackers.!!

Q: What three countries make someone want to eat?
A: Grease, hungry and turkey!!

Q: What do a sea monster eats?
A: Obviously, Fishes and ships..

Q: Why the frogs are so good and happy?
A: Because they eat whatever bugs them

****

"When a baby giraffe is born, it falls six feet, normally without getting hurt."

Short Clean Jokes

2009-01-27T07:31:00.000-08:00

'Clean short jokes to spread fun in very neat and clean way.'

Husband: It is for sure that your brain is as good as new..
Wife: How can you say that?
Husband: Because unused things stay new and clean!

****

Thing to do for married men:
Married men should forget his mistakes - Because there is no use that two people remembering the same thing..

****

John: How do you know that the phone is working underwater?
Shen: Simply, when i hear, it‘s wringing wet!

****

Banks Rules: If you take car/home on loan and fail to repay, the bank takes the asset or vehicle back..
People are too smart, now they are taking loan for marriages...

****

If someone says you are ugly not clean, its OK, if someone says you are stupid, its OK,
If someone says you are genius slap him as tight as you can and say there
is a limit of kidding, you are now crossing the limits!

****

Mr. Bean puts his pencil into a horlicks bottle !!!
why..
To make the pencil look taller, stronger & sharper !!!

****

Man asked to God - Why did you make women so beautiful?
God said to in short - So that you love them.
Man asked to God - But why did you make them so dumb?
God said to man - So that they love you..

****

I said to a railroad engineer:
What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The reply from the railroad engineer:
How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

****

Interviewer: what is your date of birth?
Man: Nov 28..
Interviewer: which year?
Man: Dear, every year!!!

****

Wife: Should i tell you one thing but please don't slap me...
Hus: OK, tell me..
wife: I am pregnant..
Hus: Its good news, why were you fearing
Wife: I told the same before marriage, father slapped me !!!!!

****

Husband: Will u marry shortly after i die?
Wife: No i Will live with my sister.
Wife: Will u marry after i die?
Husband: No, i will also live with your sister.

****

An Englishman and Indian inside the toilet..
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Indian: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

****

How did stupid tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

****

Man on an interview for the post of 'detective' was asked a question -
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhi ji ?
Man- Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

****

Mr. X: what do you think while driving car, when some one overtake you road ??
Mr. Y: anyone going slower than me is an idiot and anyone who is driving faster than me is a Maniac.....

****

On 1st April stupid man traveling in bus.
Conductor asked for ticket and he gave the money..
then said: April fool.. I already have pass!!!

****

Wife says to husband: why don't you work??
Husband: Because my philosophy is 'No Pain, No Pain' ..

****

Friends chat..
Q: What did square says to circle?
A: Your life is so pointless..
Q: What did a man with broken leg says to nurse?
A: I have got a crutch on you.!!

****

"If you are not having fun, it's your own fault." ~Rich Digirolamo

Meaningful Article on the value of Short Jokes.

2009-01-22T00:08:00.000-08:00

'Value of Laughter can be known by going through these articles on short jokes'

Spread happiness with Short Jokes

Short jokes - Reason for smile

Clean Jokes for fun & Humor

Come out of loneliness with short jokes<Health and short jokes

Life with fun and short jokes

Success and short jokes

Short jokes for all celebrations

Test Your IQ with Short Funny Jokes

2009-01-10T03:01:00.000-08:00

'Test your intelligence here'

Three brothers went for a dinner. After dinner waiter gave them the bill of 75$.
They equally pay 25$ each for bill.
The manager was very happy that day and gave them discount of 5$.
SO waiter returned back 1$ to each one and kept 2$ as tip.
So that is how all three paid 25-1=24$ each.
Now 24$ +24$ +24$= 72$.
and waiter kept 2$.
So 722=74$.

Now tell me in short time that where is the last 1$???????

********

Read it Loudly..
This is this danger
This is is danger.
This is how danger
This is to danger
This is keep danger.
This is a danger
This is fool danger
This is busy danger
This is for danger
This is thirty danger
This is seconds danger

Now please read the third word in each line then yo will understand what is good in this.
:-)))))

*******

You can not touch your Elbow with your tongue..

*******

Q: What is the thing starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter
A: Of course, Its an Envelope.

******

Q: What has so many keys but can not open any lock.
A: It's a Piano.

Life and Sense of humor with Short Jokes.

2009-01-10T00:03:00.000-08:00

God is great. He has given us lots of qualities and weakness. We often feel very happy in good time and get depressed in bad time. Good and bad time both are the part of human being's life. It depends on our thinking and attitude which determines how to react and how to absorb the tough time. It is very tough to be neutral all the time but it is idle to follow the same.

It is the natural behavior of human being that he/she does not get satisfied. A new hope and expectation rises after finishing one. The time is like a river, it keeps on flowing. So it is always advisable that we should enjoy our present with short jokes and should learn from it as present is very precious time of our life. It is present which becomes past and we wait for it as future. One should face the situation with welcome smile and eager to get the best out of it.

Think really matters to think about your purpose of being in the world and avoid useless talks. Fee l happy to be a reason for someone's laugh. Laughter is priceless. When laughter comes, all tension automatically runs. So why not to make each moment remember able with good sense of humor. Do not sit idle, you can share your best short jokes and funny instances to keep up the momentum. While doing this you will feel more happy and satisfied when some laugh because of you. Always keep your eyes on your target and spread the scent of laughter on everyone. It costs nothing but give you lots of gain.

Health and Short Jokes.

2009-01-09T20:06:00.000-08:00

Short jokes help us in being healthy. Health is the necessity for all human beings. You can not enjoy anything until you are fit and fine. There is very strong relation between good health and happiness. If you are sad and tensed, you can not maintain good health. So there are some ideas which enable you to be happy for the sake of your health with smile and laughter.

When I am talking about health, it does not only mean physical health, it also refers to mental health. Rather mental health is much more important for us. So there are some important steps to keep yourself mentally healthy:-

• Do not take the things very personally.
• Make a habit of reading good and motivational books.
• Take necessary vitamins to make your mind sharp.
• Do not sit idle, keep on doing something creative.
• Have a dose of laughter through funny material and be relaxed.
• Keep your work up to date.
• Keep yourself busy and do not take part in controversial matters.

So now you came to know that how to make yourself mentally healthy. But after taking care of your mental health, take step to make yourself physically fit. We can do all work successfully with healthy body, so It needs to be taken care. You can follow below mentioned steps to make yourself physically strong:-

• Always avoid alcohol, it is protoplasmic poison.
• Add fresh fruits and green vegetable in your routine diet.
• Take 8-10 glass clean water in a day.
• Get up early in the morning and go for a walk.
• You should not talk too much on cell phone; its radiation may cause your brain.

These are the basics to maintain your health. Above all you should try to adopt good sense of humor. You should laugh a lot in a day. There are lots of short jokes which help to bring laughter on our faces. It is really good for your health. So enjoy life with short jokes. I am sure that if we follow all these steps than health is only few step away. We can enjoy our life with good health only. One can play short jokes and pranks to make life interesting and most enjoyable.

Random Short Jokes.

2009-01-08T08:17:00.000-08:00

'Short jokes on random topics of your interest.'

Mr joy: What is the difference between girl's leg and butter?
George replied in short: Both are delicious when spread.!!!

*******

Man to his short friend:
You know Michal, you so short that your identity card touches on your feet!!

*******

The day of the Interview.
Interviewer: Are you nervous?
Candidate: Shortly said, no, I am not. I am single.
Interviewee: Is this your pencil?
Candidate: Yes, I am a pencil.
Interviewee: What are you wearing?
Candidate: I am short but fat.

**********

My student who did not speak much English wanted to
impress me .
one day. She had to walk past me ,
while I was talking to someone. She said, "Excuse me, can I pass away?"

**********

If time doesn't wait for you..
Don't worry!!
just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life!!
great people,great thoughts!!!!

**********

Boy jumps first..
Girl closed her eyes and returned back saying "Love is blind"
Boy in air opens his parachute and says "True love never dies."

**********

Mom: "Mickey" the clock on the wall is not working, but you have a watch.
What time is it?"
Mickey: "2 o'watch."

**********

Uncle to nephew, " Are 'pants' singular or plural?"
Nephew, "They're singular on top and plural on the bottom."

**********

What is the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is an evil, cold blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan and the another is a snake.

**********

Once a men inserted an advertisement in a local newspaper.
"wife wanted."
Next day he received hundred of letter saying same thing that "you can take mine."
Short Jokes on C A T..
Micky: I am going to give exam.
Neighbor: Than why are taking your short cat with you?
Micky: Because, i have an exam of C A T entrance..

**********

"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." - Lord Byron

Short Jokes - Archived

2009-01-05T23:55:00.000-08:00

Michal: I have a quiet home life.
Stella: Great, how?
Michal: She does not speak to me and i do not speak to her..
_______

Wife: Hey! look at that funny guy who has drunk..
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: He is my ex-boyfriend, i denied him for marriage.
Husband: Oh my god! He is still celebrating his freedom...
______

Girl: Do you know, why were females created before males?
Boy: Because God needed a rough funny draft before the final copy!
______

Monika: What do you call the parents of ghost?
Smith: Transparents!
______

Q: What does make a short man to think about candle light dinner?
A: Well, because of Power fail!!
_______

Dad: Son, you take two short hours to go to your in-laws home but take four hours to come back, How come?
Son: Because there are five gears in car to go forward in short and only one gear to reverse it..
______

Common lines shortly after boys get drunk :-
--> You are my brother..
--> I will drive the car..
--> I love you from my heart..
--> Today i am not feeling drunk..
--> Don't think that i am saying all this because i am drunk..
--> Let's have one more short glass..
--> Ask me what you need, i can even die for you..
--> Don't teach your father..
And the best one in short...
----> i will stop drinking from tomorrow..

______

Teacher: Write a short essay on football match.
All students were busy but one student was free..
Teacher: why are you not writing anything?
Funny student: "Miss, Match draw due to rain.."
______

Mom: If the plural of mouse is mice than what should be plural of baby?
Son: It should be Twins..
______

Mack: Why are looking so tensed?
Andrew: Yes, because i am going to be father?
Mack: Oh, that's the good news.
Andrew: No, it's not. My wife does not aware about it..
______

Boxer: How high my temperature is?
Doctor: A hundred and two!
Boxer: Oh, but what is the world record?

Teacher - Student Short Jokes

2009-01-01T06:51:00.000-08:00

'Funny Jokes on Teachers and Students'

Teacher: Do you know what is the first month?
Kid: Yes miss ! It is January.
Teacher: Good and what is the second month?
Kid: It is February.
Teacher: Great. Ok tell me what is the last month?
Kids: 9th month of Delivery..
_________

There was a funny sign board near school which says:
"Pl drive carefully, don't harm the students..
Just wait for teachers!"
_________

Teacher: What would you call that person who always keeps on explaining but other people are no longer interested in his short/long stories?
Funny student: That is a Teacher..
__________

Teacher: Mack, if your mother has 20$ and you borrow 10$, how much will remain with your mom?
Student: Miss, 20$.
Teacher: Sorry, you do not know math.
Student: No, you do not know my mom..
__________

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor..
__________

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention here?
Student: yes mam, I am paying as little attention as i can. !!
__________

An E.N.T. Professor retired from college. In the farewell college faculty
gifted him a silver ear.
Thanking the faculty the professor said: "Thank god I am not a gynecologist."
__________

Student 1: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Student 2: OK..
Student 1: A sort white horse fell in the mud.
__________

Teacher: Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?
Student: It is 42 mam!
Teacher: Great, and who will tell me what 6 times 7 is?
Same student: It 24 mam.
__________

Two student were chatting..
First: Do you know what is snake's funny favorite subject?
Second: No, you tell.
First: Hisssstory!!!
__________

Students were looking outside of class to watch monkey there
Teacher: Why are to looking outside to see monkey when i am here?
__________

Teacher: Who will tell the chemical formula of water in short?
One student: Its "h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o."
Teacher: What is this?
Student: Mam, yesterday you told us that it is H to O !!
__________

Jazzy: My father is pregnant, I will soon have brother.
Teacher: How can it be? It is not possible.
Jazzy: My mother had abdominal pain last month, than i got a little sister, now my father is undergoing the same pain.!!!
__________

Teacher: Mack, come here, see the map and find South America.
Mack: Mam, Here it is..
Teacher: Right, Good, Go to your seat.
Teacher: Students, now tell me who discovered South America
Student: Miss, Mack ..
__________

Teacher: From where to where foreigner ruled us?
Student: I am not sure but I think from page 50 to 55...
__________

Teacher: if you want to make your character good, then say all woman 'Mother'.
Student: well that will make my character good, but what about my Father ??
__________

Teacher: On Monday, there will be class on sun.
Student: Sorry miss, i can not attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Student: My mom does not permit me to go so far.
__________

Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
__________

Man: How can you tell if a man is happy?
Woman : Who cares?
__________

"In ten minute, a hurricane releases more energy all the world's nuclear weapons combined."

Sitemap for Short Jokes

2008-12-31T01:51:00.000-08:00

Sitemap:

Short Jokes.

General Short Jokes

College Short Jokes

New & Fresh Short Jokes

Archived Short Jokes

Couples Short Jokes

Short Funny Quotes

Kids Jokes

Girlfriend-boyfriend Short Jokes.

Husband-wife Short Jokes

Hilarious Short Jokes

One Liner Short Jokes

Teacher-Student Short Jokes

Short Funny Jokes

Waiter Short Jokes

Funniest Short Jokes

More Categories of Short Jokes

Extra Fun
Leart to impress Your Special One

Your I.Q.- Test here..

Short Funny Riddles

Short Knock Knock Jokes

Funny things in Public Place

Newly Added Funny Short Jokes

Funny Interesting Facts

Miscellaneous Jokes

Related Articles

Short Jokes for Fun

2008-12-27T22:52:00.000-08:00

Once a boy said to girl: Come in my heart and stay here forever.
Girl replied: Should i remove my short sleepers???
Boy: No honey, its not a temple , come without removing!!!!!

*******

Employer : We need some one for this Job, who is Responsible.
Applicant : Sir, your search ends here, in my previous job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I am Responsible....

*******

On 25th anniversary,

Husband: Have you ever cheated on me?

Wife yes, two times...

Husband yelled: when??

Wife: in 90 when you needed leg plaster and we didn’t have insurance,
then I had a doctor treat you for free..
And second time in 95, when you stand for position of Mayor and you were behind 150 votes!!!!!!!!!!!

********

Boyfriend: You remind me of the sea.
Girlfriend: Because i am wild, exiting and romantic...
Boyfriend: No funny, because you make me sick.!!

**********

Girl said : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
Boy cut to short: Then marry me, we will the happiest couple..

*********
"Carry laughter with you wherever you go." ~Hugh Sidey

Short jokes for all celebrations.

2008-12-17T09:11:00.000-08:00

'Short Jokes are the Best Medium to Create Fun at All Celebrations.'

We like spending our vacant time in participating in lots of activities. We can not sit idle and try to do some kind of funny activities. But among all activities, short jokes are the best way to utilize the time. We often get many chances to share different kinds of pranks in many celebrations. I would like to share some occasions and the kind of jokes to be shared at that time:-

For friends: There is no formality in friendship. You are welcome to share any kind of pranks with friends. You can share clean jokes and dirty or naughty jokes with your mates. I would rather say that they prefer to hear dirty and naughty jokes instead of clean or social jokes. You can have lots of fun and laughter with your well-wishers.

For family and relatives: It is the place where you care for limitation and boundaries. The family and relatives always like to hear clean jokes with a good message. Here you find your cousins, parents, uncle, aunts etc. Your cousins, in same age group, may like to hear some naughty jokes. So you can make your relation stronger while creating a good sense of humor with them. You can share social jokes with your elders to start a conversation.

For Birthdays and anniversaries: These kind of occasions are common and everyone wants to celebrate them with full enjoyment. So lots of short jokes are there on birthdays and anniversaries. Even you can make naughty jokes on couples to pull their legs and no one take it wrong, even they enjoy it.

For tours and travels: We usually go outside to see the world and to change our atmosphere. We travel by car, bus or plane. You can share many funny instances there to spend your journey time. That is the time when people around you feel a little bore and you can show your existence with your active sense of humor. You can share some social and family jokes to fill the environment with fun.

For marriage and parties: You can play many funny short jokes in Marriage and parties. In these kind of functions you meet with lots of your old friends and relatives. You can share your old childhood memories with them. Here is the place where your may seek for your girlfriend/boyfriend or life partner. So get noticed with your laughter and good sense of humor.

Come Out of Loneliness With Short Jokes

2008-12-06T09:57:00.000-08:00

It is not good to be alone. The distinction from the outer world results in loneliness. It is the state of mind and often results in many bad diseases. It hurts physically and mentally. It may lead you to the feeling of depression. So it is advisable make strong network of friends and family. It gives us strength, power and cheeriness. A Person who stays alone and does not take parts in fun and humor are doing worst with his life. Human being is a social creature.

There are many more problems come along with loneliness. I share some of them:

- Depression
- Negative thoughts
- Anger
- Anxiety
- Stress
- Physical weakness

These problems are very dangerous for human health and mind. One should not let them to develop. We should try be a part of society, friends and family and enjoy. Sometimes we want to come out of the feeling of loneliness but do not find the right way. It impedes all progress of life.

I would like to tell you that short jokes are the best way to break the silence. They kill loneliness, cheer up us and evoke us to stay connected with people.

I share some best ways to overcome loneliness:

- Utilize your free time in meeting with friends.
- Find new jokes on web and share them with your dear ones.
- Try to laugh on all funny events and instances.
- Take part in sports activities.
- Watch T.V. shows with your family and comment on the character.
- Make healthy relation with everyone, this will improve your life in all aspects.
- If you have any tension, do not sit alone, go and share it with your family, you will feel better
- Believe that by making others happy will give you more satisfaction, so make others smile with your funny short jokes.

It is very good to live and share happiness with each other. You can not enjoy the things alone. Show your existence to the world and spread laughter all over with your behavior.

So you can always break your loneliness with playing Short Jokes. It give chance to everyone to express his/her sense of humor.

Funny Sms

2008-12-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

'Funny sms to have fun with friends'

Friend 1: Do you know that love triangle s bad
Friend 2: Why
Friend 1: Because two out of three persons don't like being in it.

*****

Once a woman calls funny man for repairing door bell.
Man doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady was short tempered, she calls again..
Funny Man replies in short: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell, but no one comes out.

*****

Boy sms to his friend: Don't break anyone's heart they only have one..
Her friend replies: Just go and break their bones, they have 206 of them..

*****

Do you want to know that you are very important to me, It's impossible for me to live without you even 4 a second! U r my life & I can feel you everywhere.... Don't mind, i was talking in short about oxygen...

*****

Why does a lion trainer buy new clothes for his work?
Simply, because he takes 'pride' in his appearance..

*****

If you don't s.m.s me today, them i will not take my dinner,I will have only ice cream after roll with chicken sandwich and pizza and sleep hungry..
good bye...

*****

Someone.. Misses you.. Needs you. Worries About you, Lonely Without you..
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN ... THE ZOO ...

*****

Fact 1: You can not touch your lower lip with your tongue...
Fact 2: After reading this, 99/100 idiots would try it..

*****

So Sweet is your SMILE???
so Sweet is your STYLE???
so Sweet is your VOICE???
so Sweet is your EYE?????
See .......how Sweetly I LIE.

*****

Last night I Got a severe Head pain...
I went to the Doctor ...
He said that It would be cured If I send a S.M.S TO some lunatic person...
" Tell me,Whom do I know other than you.?"

*****

A man filled a job application.
When the Salary expected column came, he confused.
After much of thoughts he wrote- "Yes".

*****

Kids Jokes

2008-12-01T02:30:00.000-08:00

'Kids jokes in short for kids to experience the real entertainment'

Teacher: Where do all the lions sleep?
Kid answered: Anywhere where they want to, because they are king of forest..

****

Teacher to kids: Do you know baby, why do computers have glasses?
Kids reply: Because they want to improve their web sight..

****

1st Kid: See how sweet my new born brother is.
2nd Kid: Wow, he looks so cute! Tell me his name?
1st Kid: I do not know it yet. I ca not understand a single word, he says...

****

Mam: I ordered you to stand at the end of the row..
Kids: I went but someone else was already standing there!!

****

Kid: I want to throw the butter high.
Mom: Why?
Kid: Because i love to see butterfly.

****

Kids: Why do we always go to bed?
Dad: Simply because bed will not come to us!

****

Short tempered father to kid: Whenever i beat you, you don't get annoyed,
how do you control your anger?
Son replied in short: i start cleaning the toilet seat with your toothbrush..

****

Son asked to father: Why was the math book sad but not short?
Father replied: Because it had too many problems..

****

Father: What will happen if the third war takes place?
Funny Kids: We will have one more addition chapter in our history book!

****

Father: Do you have a trouble making decisions?
Son: Well, yes and no !!!

****

Son: mom, yesterday when i was on bus with dad, dad told me to give up my
seat to a lady.
Mom: Good, you have done right thing.
Son: but mom I was sitting on dad's lap.

****

Father: What about your result?
Son: Dad, Principal's son failed..
Father: What about yo?
Son: Dad, doctor's daughter also failed..
Father: Well what about you?
Son: Exams are not a joke.. I am not Albert Ernestine's son, I am also failed..

****

Once in a bar, one guy said to another..
"I slept with your mom last night."
after that whole bar was waiting another guy's response.

After a while... he laughs and says shortly: Let's go home, Father, you are drunk....

****

Once there were three Ladies:
First Lady: My husband's hair color is Black, So i will wear black dress for tomorrow's Party.
Second Lady: My husband's hair color is yellow,So i will wear yellow dress for tomorrow Party.
Third Lady questioned: Very funny.. My Husband is bald and short, So what should I wear???!!!

****

The boss returned after lunch in a cool mood and he called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of short jokes, which he had picked up,
Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.
He asked 'What's the matter?' grumbled the boss. 'Haven't you got a sense of humor?
she replied-'I don't have to laugh,'
Because I am this leaving Friday.

****

Son: Dad, why this aunt's stomach is so fat?
Father: You naughty, you know everything..
Son: No, i promise dad, i don't know.
Dad: OK, There is water filled-up in her stomach..
Son: Oh, than there is risk of sinking in water for baby??

****

First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that''s vanity?
Second girl: No, it's imagination.

****

"Quality is remembered long after the price is forgotten." ~Gucci Slogan

Short Jokes - Good v/s Bad

2008-11-30T05:59:00.000-08:00

Good: You are explaining to your daughter in short about birds and bees.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: and corrects you.

***********

Good: Your daughter has a good job.
Bad: She is a whore.
Very bad: She earns much more than you.

***********

Teacher: Explain in short about the different between problem and challenge????
Student: 3boys + 1girl = problem and 1boy + 3girls = challenge..

***********

1st person : I have three sons.. two are engineers and one could not study and become beggar..
2nd person : Then give him a short kick and throw him out of home!!!
1st person : How can i...??? only he earns......

**********

Two friends:
- What is it: it weighs 500 pounds, it provides heat during the winter but hangs on the tree during the summer?
- ???
- It is a stove.
- A stove that hangs on a tree?
- Why does it matter to you where I keep my stove during the summer.

***********

A man is driving on a city bus with a newspaper on his knee.
From time to time, he rips a piece off, ripping that piece into smaller ones and throwing them out the window. A passenger standing near him asks:
-Excuse me, why are you throwing pieces of paper out the window?
-I’m chasing away the elephants
-Chasing elephants? There aren’t elephants in the city.
-Well that means it's working!

************

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her *husband*!"

************

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.
Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? wasn't all that bad this time.
Dentist relied in short: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.

*************

"All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work."
- Brian Tracy

Policeman Short Jokes.

2008-11-29T06:20:00.000-08:00

Three boys were going on short motor bike.
A police man gives hand to stop.
The boys shouted, stay away!!
we already three on one bike, don't have space for you!!

----------

Once A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding.
The police catch him ans says , "It's been a long day and if you can give me a good excuse for this behavior, I'll let you go."
The smart boy thinks for a few seconds and shortly replies, "sir, My wife ran away with a cop about a month ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

----------

Two policemen are going to work-
First: Shall we take a bus or walk?
Second: Well, lets see what arrives first.

----------

Once Two funny policemen were in a patrol car:-
Could you check if the directional work on your side of the car?
The other policeman looks through the window and says:
Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...

----------

Police: You will be dead by tomorrow at 5am.
Criminal: ha ha ha, very funny..
Police: why are you laughing??
Criminal: I get up at 9 in the morning..

----------

Police to kid: There are two man fighting, who is your father?
Kid: That is what they are fighting for!

----------

In a restaurant, a man ordered soup but, as soon as it arrived, he had to go to the bathroom.
To make sure that nobody touched his soup while he is away, he wrote on a napkin: "I SPIT IN THE SOUP".
When he returned, he found another message on napkin: "ME, TOO".

-----------

In bio practical: two stupid got two bombs.
1st: lets go to police and give it to hem..
2nd: If one blast on the way..
1st: we will lie that we found only one !!!

"Winning is not everything, but the will to win is everything."
-Vince Lombard.

Impress Your Special One With Short Jokes.

2008-11-28T06:25:00.000-08:00

Seven Steps to Impress Your Special One With Short Jokes..

It is natural that boys get attracted toward girls. But it is very difficult to impress girls. Girls always seek for a good life partner. They imagine that their dream boy must be smart, caring, supportive and have a jolly nature. So guys gear up, it is not easy to impress 21st century girls. But I can tell you some of the best ways to get girls attention. Here we go:

• Bring some fun and humor in your nature.
• Share some of the best short jokes with positive body language.
• Make yourself interesting and attractive.
• Show your energy level attract the crowd.
• Do not feel embarrass while sharing your personal funny incident. It is good to fun at yourself.
• You can expose your other qualities, like your attractive smile, your dressing sense, hair style etc., while playing jokes because at that time listeners pay attentions to you, look at your face and hear you only.
• Always take care for the type of jokes you are going to share. Some girls like sexy naughty jokes while others may like jokes about friends and family.

It does not mean that there is no space for emotions. Girls like emotional persons. It touches direct to their heart. If you have a feeling for girl just make her friend with the help of Funny material and than make her feel about your love with your emotions. Normally the feeling of love start with:-

• Life seems so beautiful with her.
• Heart starts sinking. while meeting her.
• You find the reasons to call to her.

So express your feelings for your special one and get noticed with the help of your jovial mood.

Girlfriend - Boyfriend Short Jokes

2008-11-21T07:51:00.000-08:00

'Girlfriend boyfriend jokes in short to read funny arguments between love birds.'

Gf messaged to his old boyfriend and asked: What is the meaning of IDK.
Bf replied: I don't know..
Gf: Oh my god, How dumb the world is, nobody knows the meaning!!

******

- Tell me: If a black boy and his black girlfriend are in the car. Who's driving?
- Of-course, the cop!

******

What is love? Girl asks to his friend..
Friend: It is like a dinner in the best and favorite restaurant..
Girl: And what about marriage?
Friend: It's like a take home packet..

******

Boy to girl: Excuse me miss..
Girl: Yes, what?
Boy: I just felt it, but you are looking much like my next girlfriend..

******

In a Disc:
Boy: Do you like dancing?
Girl: Smiles and stands up..
Boy: Than why don't you go and dance? I need this chair..

******

Girlfriend: Today is my birthday and you haven't bring anything for me. Why?
Boyfriend: Because i wanted to surprise you!!

******

Girl: Suggest me the fastest trick to get into boyfriend's heart?
Mother: Simply, through his chest with the help of sharp knife!!

******

Q: What is the height of madness?
A: When girlfriend throws her boyfriend from the top floor and says, real love is in Air, my honey!

******

Boy in college to another boy: As per my experience, the girls are as good as road.
2nd boy: How?
First boy: Because the more the curve a road has, the more the dangerous that road is!

******

Sunny and Jorge lost their girlfriends and went for their search.
Sunny: How does your girlfriend looks?
Jorge: She has very attractive face, innocent eyes, good height and fantastic smile.
Jorge: Tell me about your gf?
Sunny: Leave mine, lets find yours only...

******

Girlfriend: I will marry you only when you do some act of bravery..
Boyfriend: I am with you, it is not less than any work of bravery!

******

Boy: We always wish to be girl's first love.
Girl: But we are different: We love to be boy's last romance !

******

Boyfriend: Amazing world, only 25% boys have mind, very short figure!!
Girlfriend: What about Rest?
Boyfriend: Well, rest have GIRLFRIENDS!!

******

Do you know that your girlfriend closes her eyes while kissing, considering your face. This is how they love you all the time!

******

Q: Tell me the difference between motorbike and boyfriend?
A: Well, bike is first kicked than used and boyfriend is first used than kicked...

******

Boyfriend: Do you know that exams are like girlfriend?
Girlfriend: How funny?
Boyfriend: Yes, it is.. They are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful..

*****

Boyfriend: Dear, i want to give a gift to my girlfriend, what should i give?
Friend: Diamond ring..
Boyfriend: No, i want to gift something which she has never used before..
Friend: Alright, you can gift her gents underwear...

******

Boyfriend: Do you want a kiss?
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Do you remember what i just said?
Girlfriend: Do you want a kiss?
Boyfriend: Yes, if you insist..

******

Girlfriend: I want to end up our relationship, I am going to return you everything you gave me..
Boyfriend: What a joke? Okay then, let's start with Kisses..!!!"

******

Girlfriend: Are your sure that you love me only?
Boyfriend: Yes, i have checked my whole list again..

******

Girlfriend: What is cheapest thing to be taxed?
Boyfriend: Your brain!

*****

Girlfriend: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, problems to
lighten your burden.
Boyfriend: It's very good darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girlfriend: Well that's because we aren't married yet..

******

Girlfriend to boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be your forever.
Boyfriend: Thanks for the warning!!

*****

Before Marriage:
Boyfriend: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girlfriend: Do you want me to leave?
Boyfriend: NO! Don't even think about it.
Girlfriend: Do you love me?
Boyfriend: Of course! Over and over!
Girlfriend: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boyfriend: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girlfriend: Will you kiss me?
Boyfriend: Every chance I get!
Girlfriend: Will you hit me?
Boyfriend: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girlfriend: Can I trust you?
Boyfriend: Yes.
Girlfriend: Darling!
BUT
After marriage: Simply read from bottom to top..

*****

Girl in a gift shop: Please show me some greeting cards with message "I love you only?"
Shopkeeper: Here are some of the best!
Girl: Wow, Please pack 20 cards!

*****

Boyfriend: Please keep me in your brain not in heart..
Girlfriend: How funny, why not heart?
Boyfriend: Because more empty space means more comfort!!

*****

Bf: What did you get the small medal for?
Gf: For acting.
Bf: And big medal for?
Gf: To stop acting..

*****

Boy: You must work in a library..
Girl: Why do you think like that?
Boy: Because whenever i see you, my circulation goes high!

******

The prospective son-in-law was asked by his girlfriend's father..
Son, are you able to support a family?
Son in law: Well, no, sir,' he replied. I was just planning to support your daughter..
The rest of you will have to find for yourselves.!!

******

Boyfriend: I love you, I could die for you.
Girlfriend: How soon??
Boyfriend: What a joke...

******

Girlfriend: Its the time we should marry.
Boyfriend: Very funny, but who will marry us??

*****

What did the artist say to his sweet girlfriend?
I really love you with all my art!

*****

Bf: Where did you get this big eyes?
Gf: They came with the face!

*****

I noticed that my girlfriend wants me to be more loving; so I.....
found one another...

*****

Gf: Your friend is going to engage with a ugly girl.
Bf: i was also informed the same before engaged to you!

*****

Boy: Do you have boyfriend?
Girl: Yes, i do have..
Boy: Me too..

*****

After a Blind date..
Girl: It was the worst date of my life..
Mother: Why so?
Girl: The man owns 1965 Rolls Royce
Mother: That is great thing..
Girl: But he is the original the owner!

*****

Gf: You always keep silent.
Bf: Well, it is my nature.
Gf: But somewhere i read that its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and clear all doubts!

*****

Gf: What is the meaning of way and wave?
Bf: On which males walk is a way and on which females walks is wave..

*****

Due to some reason, bf gf got fight.
Next day:
Bf calls: Hello, how are you dear?
Gf: I am busy with my new love, can i ignore you some other time?

*****

Girl: Do you know from where 'I Love You' originated?
Boy: From china, because there is no warranty, if succeed, works forever and if not than never!!

Learn how impress your special one

*****

"Don't hate me because i am beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks i am."

Cool Short Jokes

2008-11-19T06:56:00.000-08:00

'Cool short jokes about funny things'

Girl: Dear, today is the day when we met first..
Boy: Oh, thanks for recalling me, let us stand in silence for two minutes..
______

Man to his friend: Dear, i bought the air-condition of 2 ton but...
Friend: But What?
Man: I got cheated, i weighted it and it was just 40 KG only...
______

Boss: Where were you born?
Employee: United-Kingdom..
Boss: Which part?
Funny employee: All parts of mine..
______

Boy to girl: will this ever going to be true??
Girl: What?
Boy:-
-Two mad are playing chess..
-Two Women are sitting quiet..
-Girl Friend are paying the short bills…!!!
______

Interviewer: Just imagine you are on fifth floor and It caught fire, how will you escape?
Candidate: It is very simple, i will stop my imagination!!
______

Girls are 70%
Beauty
Girls r 75%
Sweet
Girls r 85%
Naughty
Girls r 90%
Cute
Girls r 100%
Lovely
Total
70+75+85+90+100 = 420
______

Short jokes on the perfect son - funny one..

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
______

Short jokes on being poor..
Wife : We are very poor, there is nothing good with us.
Husband: But dear, there is one thing good about being Poor which is very funny.
Wife : what??
Husband: It is Inexpensive.!!!
______

Funny Jokes about Birthday gift.
Mr Joy: I sent 200 hugs check to my wife on her birthday as i was out of pocket.
Friend: good, so what she did??
Mr. Joy: Bank manager cash that check !!!
______

Funny jokes with Two girls,
First girl: we girls don't like study too much!!
Second girl: why??
first: think...think more...
o.k, because..
we know someone, somewhere would be doing study for us...
poor boys!!!
______

Dad: Do you know the difference between Mechanical Engineer and Civil Engineer?
Son: Yes, A Mechanical Engineer builds weapons but a Civil Engineer builds targets...

Short Jokes about Rain

2008-11-18T07:03:00.000-08:00

'Rain jokes in short to let you enjoy this rainy season.'

Once, a man's wife was not well and than she dead..
After one day, there was storm and heavy rain happens..
Husband said: i think she has reached to the God!!

--------

Jolie: Do you know what do raindrop says to another raindrop?
Minni: Yes, it says that my plop is really bigger than your plop..

--------

A nervous old lady on a bus was made even more nervous by the fact that the driver periodically took his arm out of the window. When she couldn't stand it any longer, she tapped him on the shoulder and whispered on his ear: "Young man...you keep both hands on the wheel...I'll tell you when it's raining!" :)

--------

Student: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Student: thanks mam, because i didn't do my homework.

--------

Mom: Do you the difference in the horse and weather?
Kid: One is reined up and another rains down..

--------

Jasmine: Can you answer me, why do people use ketchup in rain?
Rosie: Simply because it rains like cats and hot dogs..

--------

Father: A man is incomplete until he is married.
Son; An after that?
Father: Finished shortly!!!

--------

Mam: Do you know that what does the day-light saving time mean in Seattle?
Kid: Yes, it is an extra hour of rain!

--------

Joseph: Do you know that the rain makes grass, tress, flowers and everything more beautiful.
Mack: Than why does not it rains on my wife..

--------

Passenger: Tell me, how would you describe the rain in this part of the country?
Guide: Lots of little drops of water falling allover!

--------

Husband wants to surprise his wife..
He did clean his chest from hair and sleep with his wife..
wife: oh, brother in law, when u came here?

--------

Husband: Dear, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
wife: Really??
Husband: Yes darling you still have, only difference is earlier it was 300ml and now it's 1.5 liter.

--------

"It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean."

Short jokes on Doctors

2008-11-16T07:02:00.000-08:00

'Read the cool and funny short jokes about Doctors'

A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad a news and a worse news for you".
"what's the bad news?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live."
That's terrible," said the patient.
"How can the news possibly be worse?"
The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

----------

Patient: Doctor, i feel i am a pack of cards. What should i do?
Doctor: I'll deal with you later..

----------

Doctor: do you what is Nurse?
Patient: A beautiful woman who holds our hand for one full minute and then expects our
pulse to be normal..

----------

Patient: Doctor i got pain whenever i take tea.
Doctor: Take your spoon out o cup whenever you take tea.

----------

Doctor: Congrats, you become a father.
Man: Pl, do not tell this to my wife, I want to surprise her shortly..

----------

Man to doctor: I have one problem..
Doctor.: what?
Man: I can't see the person whom i am talking..
Doctor: when you face this problem??
Man: while talking on the phone. !!!

----------

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!

----------

Sick Boy: Doctor, Le me go fast, today my friend is coming home..
I have to remove all the toys..
Doctor: why, is your friend is a thief??
Boy: No, he will identify his toys...

----------

Patient: I have a problem, I keeps in biting my nails, what should i do?
Doctor: I have solution, let me remove all your teeth..

----------

Father: I need vitamin for my son.
Doctor: Vitamin A,B or c?
Father: Any will do as my son does not the alphabets!!

----------

"If you can dream it, you can do it."
- Walt Disney

Short Jokes about Couples

2008-11-15T07:48:00.000-08:00

'Welcome to read pranks on couples'

Man: What are the secrets of good marriage?
Woman: Admit whenever you are wrong and keep your mouth shut when you are right..
__________

Drunk funny driver asked his wife: Dear, in life sometimes there are opposite meaning of words..
wife: How??
Driver: Like, we park our car in the driveway and drive our car on the parkway?
___________

Couples short conversations:-

Male: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Female: Yes, but would you stay there?
Male: I want to share everything with you.
Female: Let's start from your bank account.
___________

Couple was discussing about their daughter progress..
Husband: I am sure that our daughter has got her brain from me..
Wife replied: I think you are right, because i still have my brain with me...
___________

Once old man said: When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
But when a fifteen year married couple smile everyone wonders why..!!!
___________

Wife: Why are you late?
Hubby: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Wife: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Hubby: No. I was standing on it.
___________

Groom: Father, I have found a woman just like my mother.
Father: then what do you want from me, sympathy??
___________

Wife: Do you know that why are crows black?
Husband: yes, because they don't have money to buy Fair & Lovely!!
___________

Wife: I have great news for you, very soon we are going three instead
of two in this house.
Husband: Wow, I love you honey, I am the happiest person in the world.''
Wife: Thank you so much you feel that way because tomorrow from evening my mother will stay with us.!!
___________

Wife: Today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: well, let us stand in silence for two minutes.!!!
___________

Man: How did you compromise with your wife?
Husband: She came to me on her feet.
Man: and what she said?
Husband: i was down under the bad and she said come out, i will not say you anything...

"Paint a masterpiece daily. Always autograph your work with excellence."

Lawyers Short Jokes

2008-11-12T07:53:00.000-08:00

1st criminal: what is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
2nd criminal relies: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

***********

Children who never come when called will grow up to be doctors...
Children who come before they are called will grow up to be lawyers.

***********

Mr. Sam asked: How can you know, when a lawyer is lying?
Mr. joy replied: It is so funny, His lips must be moving.

***********

Q: If an ethical Lawyer, an honest politician and a merciful aerobic instructor, all fall out
from an air plan. Which one hits the ground first.?
A: It doesn't matter, none of them exist.

***********

Q: what is the difference between good lawyer and great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge..

***********

Wife: what do you like most, my beauty or brain??
Husband: your sense of humor..

***********

Father asks to son: why don't you work??
Son replies: I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.!!!

***********

Girl asked fer friend: what is the fastest way to man's heart?
Friend: With a sharp knife, through his chest !!!

***********

Husband: we have six child and i ll call you mother of five.
Wife: o.k, then i will also call you father of three !!

***********

What is the difference between an onion and lawyer?
You can cry when you stick a knife in an onion

***********

'One chance is all you need.' - Jesse Owens

Salesman Short Jokes

2008-11-10T08:09:00.000-08:00

'Short jokes on salesman to enjoy the funny scene between salesman and customer'

Salesman: Mam, you will look very attractive in this dress.
Lady: I like it but i don't like its color.
Salesman: Oh, don't worry about it, It will disappear after the first wash.!!!

----------

Salesman to boss: Oh boss, i sold a land which is completely under water. The customer is very short temper, so i think that we should refund his money.
Boss: What kind of salesman you are? Just go back and sell a houseboat to him.

----------

Salesman to a kid: Is your mother at home?
kid replied: yes.
Salesman: Rang the bell four time, but no one comes out.
Salesman asked kid: You said she is at home??
Kid: Yes, she is at home, but it is not a place where i live.

-----------

Customer: What is the surety of this LCD?
Salesman: It is so good that If you throw it from 50 feet, it will not break till 49 feet..
Customer: Great, pack it..

-----------

Customer: How do you know a salesman is lying?
Friend: His lips are moving !!

-----------

Funny man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the salesman twice.:-(
Guess why?
Because it was written there "use two before dialing.."

-----------

Customer: Is the mineral water you sell healthy?
Salesman: Yes sir, we sale only well water.(water from a well)

-----------

Salesman punchline for selling mosquito coil...
Before that you turned very weak in missing someone...
Before that you turned very weak in missing someone...
that a stupid mosquito take me out from bad!!!
so use it fight with them..

-----------

Man: There are many funny stupid people.
salesman: God must love stupid people. He made So many.

****

"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects." ~Arnold Glasow

Lazyman Short Jokes

2008-11-09T00:34:00.000-08:00

Lazy-man thinking: A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station!!
________

Boyfriend; am i the first man you have ever loved ?
Girlfriend; of course yes honey, why do all lazy men ask the same question?
________

A man was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!

_________

Man at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing
is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
_________

Teacher: It is very bad, why are you late again?
Student: I am very sorry mam, I just overslept.
Teacher: Do you mean that you need to sleep at home too?
________

Two female friends talk..
First: why don't men show their real feelings??
second: because they don't have anyone...
first: o.k., tell me, what is successful men?
second; who earns more than his wife can spend !!
__________

Man: I broke my leg in two places.
Friend suggestion: Than you should quit going to those place..
_________

Dad: How do YOU spell cat?
Son: k - a - t.
Dad: You are wrong, look at the dictionary, it is c-a-t!
Son: But Dad, you asked me how do I spell it!
_________

A man at medical shop: Can i but poison?
Chemist: Sorry, We can not provide you.
Man thinks and than shows his marriage certificate..
Chemist apologized and sad: Sorry, I didn’t know that you had a prescription with you..

Husband Wife Short Jokes

2008-11-06T00:50:00.000-08:00

'Short jokes on husband-wife to pull their legs.'

After 10 year of marriage: Husbands think that we are living proof that women can take a joke on..

------

Wife: Do you know that some people make others happy, wherever they go.
Husband: But You make me happy, whenever you go!

------

Doctor: Has there been any insanity in your family?
Wife: Yes, my hubby thinks he is the boss!

------

Lady friend: Which book do you like the most?
She replied: My husband's cheque book..

------

Q: Husband's credit card stolen but he did not report it, why?
A: Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

------

Husband: My wife is an angel.
Friends: You are lucky, my wife is still alive..

------

A married man saying..
Man: Before marriage, a man yearn for the women he loves.
After marriage the "y" become silent.

------

Two people chat:-
First: What is the difference between wife and neighbor's wife.?
Second replied: Wife is like chocolate, you can have anytime but neighbor's wife is like an
ice cream, you should have immediately..!!!!

------

Husband: My wife is missing.
Postmaster: How funny, This is post office not police station..
Husband: Oh sorry!! i am so happy that i don't know where to go !!

------

Married man says to his bachelor friend,
Marriage is a three ring circus ...
Bachelor asked: how??
Married man: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering...

------

Wife: Sweet heart..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...??
You've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

------

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

------

Once a husband & wife quarreled.
They went for an drive and suddenly a dirty, worst and bad animal come in front of their car.
Husband in anger said: Are those your relatives?
Wife replied: Yes, my in-laws.!!!

------

Mother to daughter: Good, you talk on phone just for half an hour, instead of two hour.
Daughter: that was wrong number, mom !!

------

Wife; It's my birthday, where is my gift??
Married-man; Today, I offer you myself..
Wife; i am sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

------

Interviewer: Where you born?
Married-man: in California.
Interviewer: which part?
Married-man: All of mine.

------

Mr jack: You are wearing your marriage ring in wrong finger..
Mr. smith replied: Yes, because i married to a wrong woman !!

------

On golden anniversary:-
Wife asked: Do you remember when you proposed to me?
Husband replied: "Yes honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

------

Husband: The is the meaning of 'WIFE' is 'Without intimation fights every time'
Wife: No dear it means 'With idiot for ever'..

------

Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...

------

Wife: I want to divorce my husband.
Judge: Why?
Wife: Because i feel that this man is not faithful.
Judge: How can you say this?
Wife: Not even a single kid resembles him..

"People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
- Abraham Lincoln

Valentine's Day Short Jokes

2008-11-05T03:28:00.000-08:00

Girl: you know, what is the trend of parties on valentine's day?
Boy: I noted that "In America you find parties but in Russia parties finds you."

----

Girlfriend: Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?
Boyfriend: Because you always heart ( hurt) the one you love.

----

Boyfriend: Love is great feeling and it is also very photogenic;
Girlfriend: How?
Boyfriend: Because it needs darkness to develop..

----

A woman tells her funny husband, "I just dreamed that
you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.
Do you know what does it means?"
Husband: You'll know tonight.
That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to his wife.
She delighted and opens it and sees a book entitled,
"The meaning of dreams"!!!

----

When I got home last night my wife demanded that
'take me somewhere expensive place on valentine;s day'...
I thought a lot and I took her to a petrol station ...!!!

----

Wife says to husband:
I am tired of being your maid,
I am filing for divorce!
No, you are fired!

----

I overheard a friend telling his neighbor on valentine's day, "I couldn't broke my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What she do?", the neighbor asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."

----

It is being said that a woman has the last word in any argument or fight.
Because anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument again!!

----

God made a man as a great human being who pays 10$ for a 5$ thing he wants.
But similarly he has made a woman who pays 5$ for a 10$ thing that she doesn't want..

----

It has been noticed that Women, deceived by men, want to get married with them; it is a kind of revenge as good as any other. So always beware!!

"Life is just a chance to grow a soul"

College Short Jokes

2008-11-03T03:39:00.000-08:00

'College short jokes to experience the instant laughter with college humor.'

A girl in college tells her friend: It is my mom who made my dad a millionaire.
Friend asks: And what was his status before marriage?
The college girl replied: He was a multimillionaire before marriage!!

****

Two college guys were talking..
One of them said: when the apple is green, it is ready to pluck..
and when the girl is eighteen, she is ready to...
Vote..
You dirty mind, elections are near.. so try to think +positive.

****

Two college female friends:
First: Why it is so difficult to find a men who is caring, sensitive, good looking and rich.
Second girl replies: Because they already have girlfriends.

****

Two girl in college:
First girl asked: Do you know what do boys discuss when they are together?
Another girl: The same thing which we discuss when we are together..
First girl: Oh, How Disgusting.!!!

****

Two college boys:
First asked: What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
Second replied: It is when your Girl Friend says "You are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends in college."

****

Tensed married lecturer in college lecture:--
Students: Do you Know why a room full of married people looks so empty?
Students: why, sir?
Lecturer: because, there's not a Single person in it..

****

College Boy: My Father's name is laughing and my mother name is smiling.
Girl: You must be kidding...
College boy: No, that's my brother I am joking...

****

Girl friend; will you marry me after finishing college?
Boyfriend: I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life !!

****

Professor: What should be the plus point of a book to make it best seller?
Student: A girl on the cover and no cover on girl..

****

Girl: The word wife is in short form. Do you know the full form of wife?
Boy: Yes, it is worries invited for ever!

****

Boy to girl:
When Men wake up, they look as good as they went to bed..
But Women often deteriorate during the night,we don't know how!!

General Short Jokes

2008-11-01T05:10:00.000-07:00

Friend: Hey, look that snake is going to bite your wife..
Husband: Don't worry, His poison must be finished, just came here to recharge..

******

Q: What did the bikers say when lost their bike?
A: Where is my bike..

******

Man: I came to know that your uncle died yesterday due to bus ran over him.
Friend: Yes, but I think he was weaker than me, because yesterday an plane flew over me and
nothing happened to me!

******

Man completed his medical and did his first operation..
Soon after finishing the operation, the patient died..
Man prayed, "God, accept my first Gift"!!

******

Husband calls doctor..
Doctor! my wife is pregnant and she is having labor pain now.
Doctor: OK, Tell me that is this her first child?
Husband: No Doctor!! Her husband on the liner!!

******

One Monkey saw his Face in the Mirror and commit suicide,
You pl promise me that you will not see your face in the mirror..
pl pl!!!

******

You are miles away from me.
Still i am watching your every movements by three different..
channels!!
1.Discovery
2.National Geographic
3.Animal Planet

******

A : You are Active.
B : You are Best.
C : You are Cute.
D : You are my Dearest.
E : You are Excellent.
F : You are always First.
G : You are Great.
Sorry! can't lie till too much...

***

Husband and Wife goes to a hotel.
One lady said 'hello' to her husband.
Wife: Who was she??
Husband: Pl, don't bother me, i am already tensed as she will ask the same question to me!!!

******

Q: What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
A: The PGA tour.

**********

Q: How can you keep a fool busy for hours?
A: Give me a piece of paper wit 'please turn over' written on the both sides!

**********

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-Victor Borge.

Short Funny Jokes

2008-10-30T23:33:00.000-07:00

'Everyone likes funny and entertaining person, you can always share short funny jokes for entertainment to spread the fun.'

Mother: Did you enjoy your first day at school?
Girl: First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

********

Real meaning of man’s SAYINGS:-

When Man say’s: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
Means: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me.!!"
When Man say’s: "I really want to get to know you better."
Means: "So I can tell my friends about it.!!"
When Man say’s: "I'm a Romantic."
Means: "I'm poor.!!"

********

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him.
Do you understand me?

********

X: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
Y: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

********

X: Why are you crying?
Y: The elephant is dead.
X: Was he your pet?
Y: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.

********

The teacher to a student:
Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher interrupts him , Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run ...

********

Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

********

Q: What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
A: Magnets have a positive side!

********

Q. What does a guy and a car have in common?
A. They both have the ability to misfire.

********

Q- Why do lions always eat raw meat?
A- Because they don't know how to cook.

********

Q- What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?
A- It gets wet.

********

Teacher: If you multiplied 50 by 8 and then
divided by 4, what would you get?
Funny Student: The wrong answer.

********

Mr. X: Dear do you believe in ghosts??
Mr. Y: Yes..
Mr. X: Then tell me that “what they would talk with each others??”
Mr. Y: They speak to each other that “Do you believe in human being??”

Funny Jokes

2008-10-29T00:21:00.000-07:00

'Funny jokes to have fun to live cool life'

Owner: It is the one hundred years old statue you have broken, the museum owner said.
Funny visitor: Oh, thank god, i thought it was new one..

****

An idiot man asks a woman to stop talking ,
but a wise and smart man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful and gorgeous, when her lips are closed..!!

****

Friend: Friend: How many wheels are there in the Motorcycle
Driver : Six.
Friend: How?
Driver: Four in motor and two in the cycle....

****

Man: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Friend: I is the....
Man: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Friend: OK, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet

****

Q: How do you make an idiot laugh on Saturday?
A: Share him some Short Jokes on Wednesday!!

****

Man: Today i made a fool of water.
Friend: How?
Man: I heated some water for bath and bathed with cold water.!!!

****

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
Bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "that Idiot driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead; I'll hold your monkey for you."

****

Man: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Idiot "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Man: No, that's wrong
Idiot: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!.

****

Last night some monkeys came running to my room.They wanted to trouble good people..I suggested your nae.They said oh!!! no!! !we can't disturb poor boss...

****

You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?
Never mind, it's pointless.

****

Mom: My dear daughter, you birthday is coming soon, so what present do you want?
Daughter: A very short gift mom, Just a music system with a luxury car around..

****

Mack: Why did god created male before female?
Michal: Because he didn't want any advice..

****

Teacher:: Answer this question. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Student: Of course yes mam, because the Empire State Building can't jump at all!

****

"Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back."

Hilarious Short Jokes

2008-10-25T00:57:00.000-07:00

'Hilarious short jokes to have some hilarious memories in life'

Passenger was complaining to the railway officer:-
I got late, why do you make time table when all the trains always get late?
Officer replied: We make it otherwise how would you know that trains are late!

*****

Man What do you want to become in your next life?
Friend : A cockroach.
Man: Very funny but why?
Friend : Because my wife only fears from cockroach.!!!

*****

One night funny wife woke her husband in the middle of the night and told
him "There is a burglar downstairs in the kitchen and he is eating the
cake that my mother made for us.
The husband asked, "who shall I call, the police
or an ambulance?...

*****

There are three wishes of every man..
to be as handsome as his mother thinks to be as rich as his child believes to have as many women as his wife suspects...

*****

Funny customer asked to the shopkeeper, “What do you have for graying hair?”
The Shopkeeper replied, “Nothing but the highest respect Sir.”!!!

*****

A student, who is studying English as a foreign language,
was confused when he saw the words "open here" on a box of
laundry soap, so he asks the clerk, "Can't I wait until
I get home to open it?"

*****

Man's bad day......
opened the door, it's broken,
open the tap , it's broken,
open the suitcase, it's broken,,
now fearing of doing looooo..

*****

Sister: why you keep newspaper in fridge?
Brother: Because it is full of hot news!!!

*****

Dad: Never argue with an idiot.
Son; Why?
Dad: He will drag you down to their level and then beat you with his experience.
Son: Who is mad?
Father: Mad is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange way that another person who is listening can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

****

Harry: Jenny, what is your age?
Jenny: Why?
Harry: Scientist are trying to figure out how long a person can live without brain. So i want to give the solution by telling your age.

****

Boss: Tell Imagine, you are in locked in room, how can yourself if it caught fire?
Officer: Very simple, Stop imagining...

****

Patient: In my dreams rats play cricket every night.
Doctor: take this tablet, you will be fine.
Patient: Can i take medicine tomorrow?
Doctor: Why?
Patient: Today is their final match.

****

Patient: I get heartburn when i eat birthday cake.
Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.

****

Dad: : What do the kid of vampire says to her mother at night?
Son: Turn off the switch, i am afraid of short light!!

****

Man to his friend: Do you one thing?
Short man: What?
Man: You are so short that you are the last person to know that its raining..

****

Boy: What is meant by serial killer?
Girl: The man who adds poison in someone's cereal..

****

Dad: What you become when you grow up?
Son: Doctor because i have the handwriting for that..

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you deal with it is what makes the difference."
Virginia Satir

Spread happiness with short jokes.

2008-10-20T23:47:00.000-07:00

'Spread happiness with short jokes.'

Fun and laughter both are a very essential part of our life. The life without smiles, laughter and entertainment is very empty. There are many ways to bring smiles and laughter. Reading Funny comics, watching laughter shows, gossip with friends and family, hearing jokes etc.

Life is very fast today. Pressure and responsibilities made the human life very hard. Short jokes give us a reason to laugh. They are very short and easy to read and remember and bring immediate smile on the face and wash out all the stress of mind. It stops the impairment of stress on mind.

A good laugh is as good as we do exercise and helps to stay away from many physical problems. The proverb "Laughter is the best medicine" shows the importance of laugh in life. Short jokes are very helpful to bring natural laughter. Charlie Chaplin rightly said, " The most wasted day in life, is the day in which, we have not laughed". A good laugh helps to break all hindrance of the life and teach us to keep on moving. It tries to pacify the storm of mind. Short jokes impel the human being to live life happily. A good laugh inspires quailed heart to move on.

When there is idle time, sharing funny jokes among the groups, is the best way for utilizing the time. It gives a introduction of one's personality and shows the confidence n an individual. It helps to know the communication skill of speaker. A jolly nature man is appreciated every where. He is life and soul of parties.

Short jokes are very easy to remember and automatically come out of mouth. It spread smile, laugh and happiness all over. There are various type of short jokes available online. One may find it i.e. comic-books, websites, TV. Shows, funny messages etc. It changes the mood and brings us in the world of imagination of funny situations. It makes the life worth living.

Short Jokes with Funny Pictures

2008-10-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

Image example with fun and balance.-
"The most Beautiful thing is to see a person smiling!!
And even more Beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind It"...!!

Funny Image at hills, enjoy it !!
See the Goat on mountain ranges on a tree...very DARINGGGGG...

Short Jokes - Funny Questions

2008-09-08T22:39:00.000-07:00

'Short and Funny Questions-Answers'

Q: Tell me, why did banana go to the doctor?
A: Yes, because banana was not peeling good..

*****

Q. What is the most shocking city?
A. Electricity..

*****

Q. What would happen if woman ruled the world?
A. There would be no war..
Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each others...

*****

Q: How do you keep a fool in suspense?
A: I will tell you later..

*****

Q. What is more useful after its broken?
A. An egg..

*****

Q. What is the most dangerous position in which to sleep ?
A. It is when you sleep with your feet on your office desk.

*****

Q. Why do cows like jokes?
A. Because they like to be amoosed...

*****

Q. What kind of flower do you have between your nose and chin?
A. Tulips...

*****

Mam, can i hold your hand?
No thanks, it is not heavy...

*****

Q. Tell one dirty short joke?
A. A white elephant fell the Mud...

*****

Q: Why do boys whistle when they are sitting on the toilet seat?
A: So that they could remember which end to wipe.

New Funny Jokes

2008-08-14T05:47:00.000-07:00

'New funny jokes to be more funnier'

Whenever you fall down never lose hope!!
Gather all your courage and strength and get up again ..
and say......

"Hey one more peg Please..!!!"
______

A five year old boy was asked by his teacher the sum of 5+5.
Teacher won't allow him to use his fingers, stretching out his fingers one by one
to calculate.
But he was so habitual to use his fingers so he put both the hands into his pant without teacher's knowledge .
He was calculating his finger like one. two, three and answered Eleven.!!
_______

Husband: One short cup coffee..
Wife: What?? ask again!!
Husband: can i get for you, dear?
Wife: OK, that's better..
______

Daughter: Mom, what is the difference between confident and confidential
Mom: Well, you are my baby is a thing of confident but who is your dad
is something confidential..
______

A cool man said: Do you know that i haven’t seen my ex-wife for over five years. Nobody else has either; and I’ll never tell !!
______

Son: Dad, if the people of turkey known as Turks,
than the people of Germany known as Germs?
Dad: Confused!
______

A smart and honest person words: I tend to be a pretty responsible person. I’ve got a wife and kids … somewhere !!
______

Funny man: You can come to my sweet home with me and we can do whatever we want – as long as we do not wake up my mother !!
______

Can you believe me if I share with you that I have a house on a wow beach? No?
What about an apartment with seven roommates in posh area?
That’s something realistic – and we have rent control!! Pl do not mind..

****

Short Jokes about Bad Days

2008-08-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

Mack opened the door, it's broken..
He opened the tap, again it's broken...
Than tried to open the suitcase, it's broken...
Now fearing of going into bathroom!!!
______

Good: My spouse has been missing for a whole month
Bad: The police have said prepare for the worst.
Very Bad: Now, I had to go and get her clothes back from the charity house..
______

Once a short temper husband was teaching his spouse short cuts of driving, when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep and downhill grade.
Wife: I can not stop, she cried, now what to do?
Husband: Brace yourself and try to run your car on something cheap.
_______

A friends said to his friend that i have quit smoking.
Second day he found him doing smoking!!
Friend: You told me that you have quit smoking.
2nd friend thought and replied shortly: I am into first phase, I have quit buying..
_______

Man 1: What is most dangerous letter of alphabets?
Man 2: It is 'A'
Man 1: How?
Man 2: Because all questions start with 'W' like..
who, why, what which, whom, where and finally wife...
_______

Son: Why do you have problem of cavities?
Father: Because you mom is so sweet!
_______

Twins were siting at bathroom.
One was laughing and one was sad.
Dad asked: What happened?
One kid replied happily: Funny mom has got him bath two times in this winter..
______

Q: What is Manager?
A: A manager, in short, Who flies in, craps on everything, makes a lot of noise and then leaves.
______

Man: Do you know how businessman talks in short?
Woman: I don't know..
Man: They say my short life is like math and i am trying to add my
income, subtract from my weight, divide my time and avoid multiplying..

***

Short Jokes - Reason to Smile

2008-07-03T00:07:00.000-07:00

Short Jokes Are the Reason to Smile Which Works Like a Magnet to Attract Everyone.

We interact with each other for different Purposes in the business deals, Family functions, Journey or Picnic etc. Some are good friends and relatives. Heart and mind gets impress with them who have got Jolly nature with good sense of humor. Smiling Faces are welcome in every occasion. Sparking eyes with smiling lips gives a relaxation to the interacting person and makes the moment unforgettable. Smile is like a Magnet. It makes the human being a Flamboyant personality.
Smile helps in healing procedure of body and reduces the stress. It strikes a balance between different aspects of life.
The thing which bound to happen, we can not change. The only thing which is our hand is to face the situation boldly, answer them with a confident smile and positive action.
Doctor often says to their Patients that "Do not take any tension and keep your self happy". Because a happy-go-lucky. It reduces tensions.
Smile is a cooling system of Heart, Sparking system of Eyes, Lighting system of Face, Relaxing system of Mind, So activate all your system, Keep Smiling. It costs nothing and gives many hidden advantages.
God gives Life once, so why to waste it in depression tensions and crying. Enjoy what you have got.
Celebrate small-small happiness with your family and friends. Live each and every moment. Whenever you meet with anyone, try to make him happy. For that you can start with jokes and Pranks. It creates a fiction of funny moments.
Short Jokes are helpful in bringing immense amount of Laughter. One can gather funny material like jokes and funny stories from Internet, television laughter shows, comics and magazines etc. A good joke helps to cheer up the mood.
Jokes prove like a helping hand in burnout the anxiety.

Clean jokes for Fun and Humor.

2008-05-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

Clean Short Jokes Can Be Shared With Anyone to Bring Fun and Humor.

Imagine the situation when you are with your family and someone tells a dirty joke. It is very embarrassing situation. At that time you can not say anything but feel annoyed inside. You can not make eye contact at that time. Although jokes are good medium to spread fun and humor, but one should see the atmosphere while saying a joke.
That is why I always appreciate Clean Short Jokes. They are good for health and welcome every where. They have got decency and soberness. These kinds of pranks bring fun and give satisfaction. There is no limit of environment. It is good with family, friend and office staff.
So I always see these five reasons to share these kind elegant Jokes:
• They do not contain vulgarity and presentable everywhere
• They are good medium for spreading laughter and fun in atmosphere
• No one feels offended after listening them
• There is no hesitation to speak them in front of anyone
• They create good humor and brighten up the environment
Now you must be convinced that reading and sharing clean jokes leads to good humor and fun with peace of mind and of course laughter works more than medicine without any side effects. Laughter defuses the stress and pressure which comes from different circumstances. It is the sign of happiness and satisfaction.
There are problems with every human being. I have not seen anyone who is tension free. But tensions create stress and there is no benefit to be sad every time. Take the things in positive way. Never loose a single chance which makes you smile. Take help of Jokes, pranks, comics, TV shows and share your own funny experiences with friends and family to bring humor and laughter. It has rightly been said that " Laughter is the spark of the soul."
Smiling faces attract everyone. I personally like to read fresh and neat jokes so that I can share them with everyone. I feel if we make someone happy, a level of satisfaction, we feel inside after. So love the life and make it a pleasant journey of learning unforgettable experiences.

Skills for Sharing Short Jokes.

2008-03-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

You must have noticed that some people have quality of making others laugh. They have got the capability of impressing other people. Whatever they say, we feel good and interesting. We feel like we hear it again and again. It is because they have master in the art of expressing the things. They know how to attract the audience. They know what audience like and how to say it. They know what is the reaction of their expressions. It is an art and can be learn easily.

You must be thinking that why they do not hesitate or feel shy. I tell you why, it is because they have been taught that "Always think and believe that you are the best and smart one and every one else, who is listening you, is a big fool so deliver your best."

I would like to share some of the things which you should do before cracking short jokes for fun and humor.

- Practice a lot and make yourself master of things.
- You should be very creative.
- Always try to do something different.
- A good speaker is one who able to maintain lots of suspense.

There are some qualities you must learn before making any short jokes:-

- You have to learn fluency before making any humor.
- You must do lots of practice for perfection.
- Your timing must be good enough.
- You voice and body language should be supportive.

If you are not very much confident on what you are going to present. You should practice with your family and friends. You must be master of making drama. You need to create a good story and should present it in such a way so you could able to gain everyone's attention.

You should also take care that what your audience is expecting. It is always better to keep it short and simple. And pause for a while for getting more attention. Keep the twist with lots of examples.
And after that put up your punch line so that they can laugh. Wish you all happy laughing.

More Categories of Short okes

2008-03-03T09:33:00.000-08:00

All Stupid Answers with Short Jokes

Short Jokes on Businessman

Doctor's Short Jokes

Friends-Family Short Jokes

Good & Bad Short Jokes

General Short Jokes

Imagination Short Jokes

Idiot Short Jokes

Funny Sms

Lawyer Short Jokes

Lazy man Short Jokes

Short Jokes on Lecturer

Policeman Short Jokes

Funny Picture

Random Short Jokes

Rain Short Jokes

10 Funny things

Funny Sms Jokes

Short Funny Quotes

Valentine's day Short Jokes

Hilarious Short Jokes

Sms Jokes

Office Short jokes

Cute Short Jokes

Short Jokes - Funny Q&A

Interesting Short Jokes

Short Jokes for happiness.

2008-02-24T10:15:00.000-08:00

Many times I surprise when people run behind each others to pull their leg and give birth to jealous. What is the benefit of doing all this stupid things. By doing these acts we are doing nothing but just adding our enemies. This bad things create ill effects in each one's life.

So it is always advisable to live together with no grudges. Laugh a lot and make people laugh. Short Jokes are the best medium to bring smile on dull faces. We all have right on happiness which come through fun and humor. When we share some short jokes, we touche others heart and make others our well wisher. Somewhere in the journey of life these people prove a great help to us. So we should never hate anyone and these jealousy adds in our sins. The more we laugh, more we feel satisfied.

It is always noticed that the person who is of jolly nature has more friends than an ordinary human being. These kind of personalities create lots of fun through their naughty and silly short jokes and incidents. They never feel shy and they know how to laugh on their own mistakes.

I always feel that a happy and satisfied person gets more success in life in all aspects. So its never too late to move forward. Just try to spread smile all over to make yourself smile. Always help others and they will return you back with their love and care.

Often I have seen people searching for real happiness and enjoyment. Every one keeps on saying 'Just Enjoy' but are we really following this? Our Boss say us that just enjoy what are you doing and when we start enjoying he himself give us so pressure that we forget what is happiness. So I think when we come home from work, we should find something on which we can laugh. Short Jokes are the best option at that time. We come closure to our family with Short Jokes. Our jokes and pranks make their mood and they feel like top of the world. So enjoy the present moment who knows what will happen tomorrow. These small happiness matters a lot. When we share this kind of short jokes and funny instances, we reduce the distance between each other and give a satisfaction.

Links

2008-02-19T23:24:00.000-08:00

Funny Indian Jokes: Funny Indian jokes to bring laughter all over.

HumorLinks: All best funny places with best funny things inside.

Humor blogs: Funny jokes blogs with new humorous things.

Profession Jokes: rofession jokes to read out.

Clean Jokes: Great clean jokes to be shared with everyone.

Fresh Short Jokes

2008-02-02T06:44:00.000-08:00

'Fresh and funny short jokes to feel the freshness with fun and humor'

Mr. X: Tell me short, smart and the best way to prevent milk from getting sour?
Mr. Y: Better to leave it in cow itself..
________

Bus conductor: Hey, why are you buying two tickets?
Funny passenger: Because if i lose one that second ticket will save me.
Conductor: what if you lose both?
Passenger: Listen, I am not a fool, I already have my Pass with me..!!!
________

What did a funny handsome dog says to a beautiful bitch on a candle light dinner
near romantic river in the open moonlight.
----
-----
------
-------
"BHOW BHOW"
what else it can say!!!
________

Husband was waiving his arms at home and searching..
Wife: What are doing?
Husband: Killing ants and i killed 2 male and 3 female ants..
Wife: How do you know about male and female?
Husband: 2 were on beer cant and 2 were on cell phone..
________

Once a man and a doctor were in love with same girl.
Man got an idea and started giving an Apple to his love daily.
When that girl asked why this apple daily?
Man replied: An apple a day keeps the doctor away...!!
________

Male: Woman use 30000 words in a day
but in case of man, it is 15000.
Female: The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.
Male turned on and asked: 'What'.
________

Neighbor: I noticed that your daughter is mostly in the kitchen.
Probably she loves cooking so many varieties.
Her little brother instantly replied: No, actually our telephone connection is in the kitchen.
________

Teacher: If you want to make your character good, then say all woman 'Mother'.
Student: Well that will make my character good, but that what about my Father??
________

When the best actors are chosen by another actors, it's called Oscars.
But when the best actors are chosen by the people it's called an elections...
________

My uncle lost his dog last week.
I said why don''t you put an advertisement in newspaper?
Uncle replied: Don't be silly, my dog can't read newspaper..
________

Chat of kids:
1st kid: Do you know why is 6 scared from 7 ?
2nd kid: Because 7 ate 9...
________

1st friend: What do call two birds with love?
2nd friend: Tweet hearts.!!!
________

When you drink:-
Brandy and water = Injures kidney
Rum and water = bad forever
Beer and water = unhealthy b.p.
Gin and water = high risk of paralysis

In short, there is something wrong with 'water'.
_______

Hubby: From year start till year end, from romance till our silver-anniversary,
from day till night, my feeling has never been changed for you..
Wife: Wow, what are your feelings for me?
Hubby: You are always been headache for me!
_______

Wife: Dear, can we have dinner now?
Husband: OK, what are my choices?
Wife: Dear, choose between Yes or No!

Privacy Policy

2008-01-16T10:24:00.000-08:00

To help you make decisions about the information you provide anywhere on this site, this notice has been provided to outline our practices. You should know that we respect your privacy, and that we will never sell your information to anyone. Also, we hate spam as much as you do, so you will only ever get email from us that you have asked for and we have personally approved for distribution to the list.

We use secure hosting accounts and other security measures to protect our database and any information provided.

Any e-mail you receive from this site will contain the option to unsubscribe at the end of the e-mail. You can unsubscribe at any time.

If and when we offer products on this site, when you order a product, the information you provide will only be provided to outside parties if it is necessary to complete and deliver the order. Your information will never be shared or disclosed to other parties for any other reason.

Non-identifying information may be used to improve the site or shared with advertisers. For instance, information that is collected regarding traffic to the site or specific pages may be shared, but this will never include any identifying information.

Tracking
We don’t directly track your presence on this website. Your IP address is logged and we look at the server logs on occasion, but this is in an aggregate fashion for the purpose of determining why people come to visit us. What we are most interested in specifically are two things: The websites that link to us and send traffic here, and what keywords people use to find us via search engines such as Google, Yahoo, and MSN.

Cookies
We don’t directly set cookies, but we do run a number of scripts from providers such as Google through the Google AdSense program to serve ads on our site. To find out more about Google and its DoubleClick DART cookie used to generate interest-based advertising, or to opt out of Google’s use of cookies by visiting the Google ad and content network privacy policy. Some of these set web browser cookies to serve ads on your site. Google in particular quietly collects a tremendous amount of data on your browsing habits, and we participate in that data collection. In order to provide to provide advertisement about goods and services of interest to you, Google, as a third party vendor, uses DART cookie. At any time, you may opt out of DART cookie by visiting Google ad and content network privacy policy.

“Cookies” are data sent to your web browser from a web server (such as Google) that can uniquely identify your computer and store information about user preferences. Most web browsers will accept cookies by default, but they can be set to reject cookies, either from all websites or from specific sites. You can also manually delete cookies from your web browser. These options are generally set through a “Privacy” setting in your browser setup".

Friend & Family Jokes

2008-01-07T03:07:00.000-08:00

'The jokes for friends and family to make them feel good.'

I asked to my friend: should women have kids after 35??
Friend said: No, 35 are enough kids..

----------

Mom: Why do not you marry with your boyfriend?
Daughter: but mom, he is an atheist and does not believe that there is hell and god!
Mom: Once you marry him and he will start believing in both!!

----------

Two friends were talking,
1st:How much the earth is far from here?
2nd:1 kilo meter.
1st man jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"
2nd: Downwards !

------------

Man: Why do you take your wife to night clubs only?
friend: By the time she gets ready no other place is open.!!

-------------

Man: I sometime get surprised.
Friend: why?
Man: Despite the Old saying “Don’t Take Your Troubles & Worries To Bed”
Most of the People still sleep with their wives!!!

--------------

Daughter - I will not go to school
mom - why so???
Daughter - mom teacher doesn't know any thing..
mom - how can you that???
Daughter- yesterday she taught that 9-4 = 5,but today she taught 6-1=5..

--------------

Three Friends:-
1st friend - my father drives the car so fast that some people fly away..

2nd friend - my father drives the car so fast that the people run away..

3rd friend - my father drives the car so fast that the car is in garage and father in hospital..

*****

"A bird does not sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song."
Chinese proverb

Sms Jokes

2007-12-17T09:57:00.000-08:00

Kid to his friend: My dear, When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer ????!!

------------

A funny kid asked to his father: Who said English is easy???
Fill in the blank with YES or No...
1.-----I don't have brain...
2.-----I don't have sense...
3.-----I am stupid...

-------------

Mom to her Kid: Do not suck your thumb, your belly will come out. ok.
Next day kid was going to school, he saw a pregnant lady.
Kid asked: I know what you suck so your belly came out !!!

-------------

One kid to another kid:--
i want u to know that our friendship means a lot to me..
U cry i cry.
U laugh i laugh.
U jump out of the window...
I look down & then... i laugh again

--------------

Once a men said to his friend,
When i was 4 year old kid i fall from four story building..
Second men; were you dead or safe?
Men: I didn't remember, i was a kid that time..

--------------

Mom: I want to see your intelligence, write an essay on Cricket match.
After 10 min, when mom came back, the kis was sitting idle.
Mom asked: have you finished?
Kid wrote: "Due to Rain, No Match!!!"

---------------

At a study class teacher asked a kid: Do you pray to God?
Kid replied: No mam, my mom is a good cook.

*****

"What soap is to body, laughter is to the soul."
-Yiddish

Short Funny Quotes

2007-12-16T05:43:00.000-08:00

'Do not let the smile away from your lips, use short jokes and funny quotes to continue laughing.'

"A rich man's joke is always funny."
-Proverb

"A woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."
-Dumas

"Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century."
-Dame Edna Everage

"Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back."
-Anonymous

"A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused."
-Shirley Maclaine

"Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don’t have the time."
-Tallulah Bankhead

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people
in America. If I am not there, I go to work."
-Robert Orben

"An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn’t take his education too seriously."
-Charles F. Kettering

"You can be young without money but you ca not be old without it."
-Anonymous

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
-Louis Hector Berlioz

"The most dangerous position in which to sleep is with your feet on your office desk."
-Anonymous

"Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."
-Anonymous

"There are two things you should never eat before breakfast: lunch and dinner."
~Anonymous

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."
-Oscar Wilde

"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
-Anonymous

"A man is not poor if can still laugh."
-Raymond Hitchcock

"A drink a day keeps the shrink away."
-Edward Abbey

"My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure."
-Ashleigh Brilliant

"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So lets all get wasted and have the time of our lives."
-Anonymous

"A wise man washes his hands after he pees. A wiser man doesn't pee on his hands."
-Anonymous

"The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax."
~Albert Einstein

"Please help the homeless. Take me home with you."
~Anonymous

"9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot."
~Anonymous

"There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments."
~Chris Rock

"It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married."
~Robert Frost

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two…"
~Sir Norman Wisdom

"Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law."
~Sholom Aleichem

Funny Sms Jokes

2007-12-16T04:20:00.000-08:00

Once brain walks into bar and says "can i have a pint of beer please..?"
The barman looks at him and replies "Sorry i can not serve you"
"Why not?" asks the brain
"Because you are already out of your head..."
_______

Girl: Mom, i am in love with a guy..
Mom shocked: How old is the boy & what is he doing.
Girl: 3 month kicking happily in my stomach..
_______

Man: How do short people like to travel?
Woman: In Min-Vans..
_______

Once a short man asked: What is the difference between watch and wife?
Short friend replied: If a watch gets angry, it stops but if wife gets angry, she starts..
_______

Father's friend: It is too late, you should sleep here at my short baby's room.
Boy thought that baby will disturb him at night so he replied: OK, but i will sleep at another room.
At morning he saw a beautiful girl next to her on breakfast table.
She said: i am baby and who are you?
Boy: I am the biggest fool!!
_______

Father: Tell me, what do you do, when nothing goes right?
Son: It is very short and simple dad, i go LEFT!

Office Short Jokes

2006-12-24T09:50:00.000-08:00

'Office Short jokes to reduce the stress and have fun at workplace'

'We often try to recall short jokes in journey or picnic, because it helps to remove boredom and brings instant Laughter.'

Employer: Well, young man.. Do you think you can handle a variety of work?
Candidate: I ought to be able to. I have had 10 different jobs in 3 months..

******

Employee: You know Work fascinates me..
Manager: Wow, How?
Employee: I can sit and watch it for hours.

******

Director Yells: You should have been at your workplace at 9:00
Employee: But why, explain me, what happened at 9:00?

******

Boss’s are always Right!!!
But there are many dissimilarities Between us and his Boss's....

-When we’re out of the office, we're wandering around
-When our boss is out of the office, he's on business.
-When we're on a day off sick, we're always sick.
-When our boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.
-When we make a mistake, we're an idiot.
-When our boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
-When doing something without being told, we're overstepping our authority.
-When our boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
-When we take a stand, we're being pig-headed.
-When our boss does it, he's being firm.
-When we overlooked a rule of etiquette, we're being rude.
-When our boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
-When we please our boss, we're are-creeping.
-When our boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
-When we don't do it, we're lazy.
-when our boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
-When we apply for leave, we must be going for an interview.
-When our boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

******
First Friend: Do you know the secret of happy office life
Second Friend: No, Pl share..
First Friend: When you are in charge, ponder. When you feel in doubt, mumble. When you are in trouble, delegate!!

******

Son: What is office, dad?
Dad: A space where you feel so relax after strenuous house life.

******

Long time ago, lots of persons who sacrificed:-
their sleep..
their food..
their family..
their laughter..

were called SAINTS..

But now they are called..
Employees..

******

Employer: We need some one for this Job who is Responsible.
Applicant: Sir, your search ends here, in my previous job, whenever anything went wrong, boss used to say that I am Responsible..

*****

During the interview
Interviewer: Now your verbal test starts..
Can you answer, what gross aggrandized annuity means?
Candidate: Of course, it means i will not get this job!

*****

Boss: Nowadays, we are short-handed so i can not allow you the day-off.
John: Thank you boss, i knew that i could count on you!

*****

Eric: What do you to say to an art graduate with a job
Ricky: I will have a hamburger please!

"Reputation is precious, but character is priceless."

Short Jokes on Businessmen

2006-12-20T10:06:00.000-08:00

A businessman invested 5000$ in a business and Suffered big loss.
Do you know what the business was?
He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in the area, where religious does not allow people to cut their hair...!!!

****

An idiot photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,.
suddenly all businessman beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

****

Group of Nineteen businessman went for a movie.
On asking them why they came in a big group of Nineteen.
They Replied that the movie was only for the people ABOVE Eighteen !!!

****

A businessman was lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec
a women gives birth to a kid.
A naughty employee said- we must find & stop her!

****

Businessman while interview with candidate:-
Businessman: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense.
Candidate: The future tense is 'you will go to jail'.

****

A son of businessman standing below a tube light with an open mouth...
Do you know why?
Because his doctor advised him "Tonight's dinner should be light"

Short Jokes on Lecturer

2006-11-20T03:34:00.000-08:00

'Fun and laughter should be essential part of life, so enjoy and make others laugh with the magic of short jokes'

First Student: Lecturer is always greater as compare to Mother..
Second student: How??
First student: Because a mother can put only one child to sleep, but a lecturer can put whole classroom to sleep !!!

***************

One day a lecturer goes to the market,Someone snatch's his cell and run away.
Lecturer follows him, but snatcher runs faster...,
Lecturer shouts at him"Take it you donkey, but its charger is with me..!!!!

***************

One Lecturer's home caught fire and he is giving miss call to fire officer..

***************

Male Lecturer's friend: Promise me that you let me do first kiss with your wife....
Lecturer replied: Promise, but I will merry with your sister................

***************

Lecturer was taking class seriously.
One of the student was looking outside of the window.
Lecturer asked: For what purpose you come to college?
Student: For vidhya (Education or name), but she has not come up till now...

***************

Lecture: I want you to tell me the longest sentence what you can think?
Student: Lifetime Imprisonment!

***************

Lecture: Name four members of the cat's family?
Student: Daddy cat, mom cat & two kittens.!!

***************

EGG,
CHICKEN,
FISH,
MUTTON,
Read slowly and delete after, because all are non veg.

***************

"Focus on making things better - not bitter."

Cute Short Jokes

2006-10-20T07:53:00.000-07:00

A Boy on date with a girl in BMW car..
Boy: Sweet Heart,I hide something from you...
Girl : Tell..
Boy:I am already Married..
Girl:Oh,You scared me..I thought, this BMW is not Yours!!!!!!
_______

Boy: I am getting married next month... its small party and only few and special people are invited..
Friend: Tell, what gift you need on that occasion
Boy: Bring someone to marry me.!!!!
_______

Doctor was running behind his patient...
People asked what happened??
Doctor said every time he comes for operation of his mind.. and runs after hair cut..
_______

Man to his friend: You Know, my wife's teeth are like stars....
Friend: How can you say this???
Husband: They come out every night !!
_______

Q: What should you give the man who has everything?
A: A woman to show him how to work it...
_______

Man: When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
But when a 14 year old married couple smile, everyone wonders why?
_______

Girl: Do you think i will lose my look as i get older?
Boy: Yes, if you are lucky!

Interesting Short Jokes

2006-07-20T08:01:00.000-07:00

There is always a "DRIVE SLOW" board near school..
But not near girl's college:--
Why?
.
.
.
because...

"VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GO SLOW IN THIS ZONE;)"...-)
_______

Wife: Why you always keep on sleeping
Husband: Because one genius said me that your future depends on your dreams, so i sleep for good dreams...
_______

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
_______

Doctor: Should woman have children after 30?
Patient: Not at all doctor, 30 children are quit enough..
_______

When driving through fog, what should one use?
His/her Car
_______

Man to a woman: Pl mam, talk to me for a while.
Woman: Why?
Man: My wife has lost and whenever i talk to any beautiful woman, my wife appears..
_______

"A hearty Laugh gives one a dry cleaning while a good cry is a wet wash."

Short Jokes - New

2006-06-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

'Have fun with our new handpicked short jokes.'

Two females were fighting for bus seat..
Conductor: OK, stop fighting, The older one should get the sit..
and you know what happened??
Seat kept empty..

*******

Doctor: I advised you to have at-least two meals in a day, Are you following it?
Female: Oh no... I thought you advised two male in a day..

*******

After hair cut, shave and pedicure of himself, man said i will come back till that time cut the hair of this kid.
After an hour
Salon owner to kid: Where is your father?
Kid: He is not my father, he met me outside and said, lets have free short hair cut of you and me!!

*******

Boy rings the door bell and girl opens the door.
Boy: Do you believe in love at first sight or should i come back again.

*******

Beggar: Pl give me 2$ for coffee.
Stranger: You can buy 2 cup of coffee in 2$.
Beggar: Yes, but i have my girlfriend with me also.
Stranger: How funny, a beggar made a girlfriend.
Beggar: No sir, girlfriend made me beggar!!

*******

Hitler says:-
"There is no word like 'impossible' in my dictionary"
Soldier: You should have checked the dictionary before buying it.....

**********

Once a man walks up to in woman's office each day, stand very closely to her,
draws in large breath of air and tells her hair smells nice!!!

After some days, she can't stand any longer and goes to her supervisor's office
and says that she want to file a sexual harassment suit against that man and tells why.
After listing supervisor gets puzzles and says whats wrong with your co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
Than the woman replies: " He is a midget."!!!

**********

Wife: You do not know how to love..
Husband: if i do not know than have you downloaded these two kids from internet ?
Wife: no, they are the result of our neighbor's pen-drive...

**********

Once husband was sleeping and wife was taking bath.
A door bell rings and wife wrap herself in a towel and open the door.
She see the neighbor..
Neighbor asked: If you remove your towel, i will give you 1000$.
she think for a while and removes..
neighbor gives her 1000$ and goes.
After waking up husband asks, "did the next neighbor given you 1000$ he owed from me??"

******

"When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him."

**********

A husband and wife were eating soup.
The wife spilled soup all over her and says:-
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"yes and you also have soup all over you!"

**********

Wife asked : What are two things you cannot have for breakfast?
Husband : Lunch and Dinner..

**********

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

**********

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

**********

Boy : I love You....
Girl : I don't..
Boy : think again..
girl : no,i don't..
boy : waiter get two separate bills for lunch..
girl : i love you a lot..I am saying this for fun..my love , pl don't take little things at heart..:)

********

Two Lovers went to watch a movie..
A mosquito entered in the girl's skirt,,,
Guess where it bit???
You Naughty mind,,, always think dirty..
It bit on...
...The boy's Hand.!!!!

**********

Father: Dear son This time you have to gain at least 95% marks..
Son: No dad , I will gain 100% this time..
Father:why r you making a joke.
Son: Who started first …..?????

**********

Once a Wife says to husband, " we've got such a clever dog, he brings in the
daily newspapers every morning.
Husband replies, "well, lots of dogs can do that.
Wife responded, " but we have never subscribed for any newspaper.!!!

*********

"Laugh at yourself first before else can."

One Liner Jokes

2006-06-20T00:34:00.000-07:00

'One liner jokes for immediate laughter and fun in short'

Why don't males show their true feelings? As they don't have any..

Did you fart because you blew me away.

I heard that your cat say its name, yes its meow!

Treat each day as your last; One day you will be right.

I want you to shock me, Pl say something intelligent!

Confession is always good for the soul, but bad for your career!

Money may not buy happiness but it can buy wine for you.

Do you think I suffer from insanity? No, I enjoy every minute of it.

Everyone makes mistakes, but the trick is when you make them when no one s watching.

Time is great healer, but a terrible beautician.

My wife i were happy for twenty years. Then we met!

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

If i agree with you we'd both be wrong.

Early to bed, early to rise makes the people suspicious.

Hard work is future payoff but laziness pays off now!

Beer is a proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Name of the jam can't be eaten on toast? Traffic Jam!

What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A Urlologist..

Crime does not pay. Does it mean my job is a crime?

What is the best part of school? Summer Vacation!

Bad spellers of the world untie.

Whats wrong with summer vacation? Nothing..

To spend good life with man, you must understand him a lot but love him little..

If barbie is so popular why do you have to buy her friends?

Mechanic couldn't repair my breaks, so he made your horn louder..

I was in love at first sight, than i took a second look !!

There is one good thing about being poor ~ it inexpensive.

Just because I do not care does not mean I do.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Boys are like parking spaces, the good ones are take-in...

We have a quiet home life, I don't speak to my wife and she doesn't speak to me.

Born free...taxed to death.

My wife always talking about a trip to Europe,
I have no objections - I let her talk !!

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

You are never too old to learn something stupid.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

If winning is not everything, why do they keep score?

War does not determine who is right - only who is left

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

Tear: The kind of by which man's willpower is defeated by woman's water power.

A day without sunshine is like.... Night.

The men die before their wife.... because they want to.

Women have smaller feet than men so they can stand closer to kitchen sink.

It was love at first sight. Than i took a second look!

When i told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

They call our language mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

I went alone for honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls.

A ghost says to another ghost that do you believe in people?"

My wife does not know what she wants.. Good you are luck, my wife does!

A bank is a place that will lend y.

I am in shape. Round's a shape, isn't it?

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I used to be indecisive, Now i am not sure.

If you think no body cares for you, bounce couple of your installments.

You are dark cute; when there is dark you look cute!

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

If at first attempt you don't succeed, delegate it.

*****

"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from human face."
-Victor Hugo