Newest Jokes

Whenever you fall down never lose hope!!
Gather all your courage and strength and get up again ..
and say......

"Hey one more peg Please..!!!"
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A five year old boy was asked by his teacher the sum of 5+5.
Teacher won't allow him to use his fingers, stretching out his fingers one by one
to calculate.
But he was so habitual to use his fingers so he put both the hands into his pant without teacher's knowledge .
He was calculating his finger like one. two, three and answered Eleven.!!
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A cool man said: Do you know that I haven’t seen my ex-wife for over five years. Nobody else has either; and I’ll never tell !!
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Son: Dad, if the people of turkey known as Turks,
than the people of Germany known as Germs?
Dad: Confused!
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A smart and honest person words: I tend to be a pretty responsible person. I’ve got a wife and kids … somewhere !!
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Man: You can come to my sweet home with me and we can do whatever we want – as long as we do not wake up my mother !!
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Can you believe me if I share with you that I have a house on a wow beach? No?
What about an apartment with seven roommates in posh area?
That’s something realistic – and we have rent control!! Pl do not mind..

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Bad Days

Good: My spouse has been missing for a whole month
Bad: The police have said prepare for the worst.
Very Bad: Now, I had to go and get her clothes back from the charity house..
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Once a short temper husband was teaching his spouse short cuts of driving, when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep and downhill grade.
Wife: I can not stop, she cried, now what to do?
Husband: Brace yourself and try to run your car on something cheap.
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A friends said to his friend that i have quit smoking.
Second day he found him doing smoking!!
Friend: You told me that you have quit smoking.
2nd friend thought and replied shortly: I am into first phase, I have quit buying..
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Son: Why do you have problem of cavities?
Father: Because your mom is so sweet!
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Twins were siting at bathroom.
One was laughing and one was sad.
Dad asked: What happened?
One kid replied happily: Mom has got him bath two times in this winter..
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Q: What is Manager?
A: A manager, Who flies in, craps on everything, makes a lot of noise and then leaves.
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Man: Do you know how businessman talks?
Woman: I don't know..
Man: They say my life is like math and i am trying to add my
income, subtract from my weight, divide my time and avoid multiplying..

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