Short but Funny Jokes

Girls are like phones

Keep your head high and middle finger higher 

WARNING: Objects in profile pictures are not as pretty as they appear.

What's LOVE? In math: A problem. In history: A war. In chemistry: A reaction. In art: A heart. In me: You. 

I pretend to work here, they pretend to promote me.

A small walk seems so boring and long when you are alone..
But a long journey seems like few steps When......
A bulldog runs after you..

They say - practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Man: Do you know that i used to have a handle on life, but..
Friend: But what happened?
Man: But it broke!!

Tenant: Sorry, i can't pay my rent this month.
Landlord: What a joke? You said the same words previous month..
Tenant: Yes sir, i kept my words..

If you laugh last - you think slowest

Sandy: Me and my wife were very happy for eighteen years.
Nicky: then?
Sandy: Then we met and we our happiness disappeared..

Dad: What is the name of an important thing we have today but we did not have that 12 years ago?
Son: Its me..

Patient: What is the cost of plastic surgery?
Doctor: It is near about 5,000$.
Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic?

Son: Why is the bride dressed in cute sweet white dress?
Mother: Because this is the most happiest day of her life.
Son: Than why is boy dressed in black?

Teacher: What do you give sick bird?
Student: Tweetment..

Q: Why do the politicians look like funny and short diapers?
A: Because they need to be changed frequently for the same reason!

Harry: Why are so unhappy?
Mack: Jasmine said to me that she is not going to talk with me for 10 days and today is the 10th day..

Do you know why God made man before woman?
Yes because God wanted to give him time to think of an answer for her first question..

Passenger: How much would you take me shortcut to my home?
Driver: 5$.
Passenger: And how much for my luggage?
Drive: Oh sir, that goes free..
Passenger: Fine, take my luggage only and i will go home by walk..

Tom: I often get nervous and frightened during driving testes.
Psychologist: Don't worry, You will pass it eventually.
Tom: But sir, i am the Examiner..

Once a funny fat man was walking through the road and nearby some naughty guys were playing football..
They lost their football and saw this short fat man. One of the boy shouted "Is that your tummy or you swallowed our football?"

Tom: Can you imagine this world without men?
Harry: Wow, there would be no crime and lots of happy fat women around..

There are lots of faults with women.
But sweet men have only two faults: Whatever they say. Whatever they do.

Spouse: I wish I was daily newspaper.. so I would be in your hands whole day.
Hubby: Me too wish the same.. so I could have a fresh and new one daily.

Surg these funny Jokes have more fun.

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