Short Jokes

'Short jokes and funny jokes to read daily updated best pranks for dose of fun, laughter and entertainment'

'Short jokes on various topics'

A man Singh calls up White House and says: Can I be the next President?
Officer: Are you an idiot?
Man: Why? Is it compulsory?
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Wife: I am going to make you the happiest man tonight..
Hubby: It is 12 PM and who is going to help you in packing this time, So please do not joke..
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Man at book store: I need a book on topic 'Short ideas on full control on women'
Salesman: Pl move into our next row of 'fiction section'.
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Ricky: Do not fight with girls..
John: Why?
Ricky: Because they always carry their two weapons with them: Cosmetics and tears !!
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Man at gift shop: I want to buy a ladies wrist watch..
Shopkeeper asked shortly: Do you want it for your spouse or should i show you a branded one??
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My dear God, I pray you to bless with the virtue of patience..
But I want it right now..
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Boss: You know you should never hold your farts in..
Officer: Why?
Boss: Because then they travel up to your spine and goes into the brain, and that is where bad ideas origin from...
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After death, man asks to the hell manager: Can i make a short call to my spouse?
Hell manager: OK.
Man after call: How much should i pay for it?
Hell manager: Nothing, hell to hell is free of cost..
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Uncle: Dear, tell me that what can we do to stop polluting our waters?
Nephew: Simply, we should stop taking baths?
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Son: Pl tell me the difference between mom and wife?
Dad: One who brings you into this great world crying and the another ensures you continue crying..
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Husband: Am i look like a fool?
Wife: No at all, but what is the value of my opinion compared to that of hundreds of others !!
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Girl: There is a big problem with your face..
Boy: What?
Girl: It shows !!
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Experience says: There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman:
Before marriage and after marriage !!
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Teacher: You know kids, where there is a will..
One kid added: There are hundreds of relatives behind !
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Nicky: What is the example of good, bad and worst thing in life.
Sam: Your spouse does not speak to you, She is going for divorce, She has a lawyer degree !
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Man: Husband are like..
Women: They are like car tyre. Just good on their first year only !!
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Manager: Do you know the height of laziness?
Employee: Yes, It is when you adopt a child !
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60 years old Hubby: Do you get upset when i run to flirt with other ladies?
Spouse: No way! Lots of dogs run towards cars but it doesn't mean that they can drive it.
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A salesman hugs a girl..
Girl: What the hell is this?
Salesman: It is direct marketing..
Girl slaps him..
Salesman: What is this?
Girl: It is a customer's feedback !
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Q: What is the difference between a man who is buying a lottery ticket and a man who is arguing with his wife?
A: Lottery ticket buyer has still some chances to win.
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Boy asked to his gym coach: I want to impress my girlfriend, Pl suggest me which machine should i use?
Gym Coach: Best machine to impress any girl is an ATM Machine.
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Grandson: What is the secret of happy and satisfied married life?
Grandfather: My dear, It is still a secret.
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One man bought two fishes and named them 1 and 2.
His friend asked: Why did you name these fishes 1 and 2?
Man replied: If 1 dies still i have 2..
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Bad Man: I really feel bad for the people who do not drink or booze.
Good Man: Why so?
Bad Man: Because some day they will go to hospital and die without knowing the reason.
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When you are in hospital, your friends ask: Hey, hi, how are you dear?
But your best friends ask: Hey buddy, how is the nurse?
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Harry: Can you tell me, what is the best way to remember my wife's birthday?
John: It's very simple, Just forget it once.
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Person visited psychiatrist office and psychiatrist said: You are Mad..
He asked him to give a second opinion and he said: You are ugly too.
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Shelly: I think you must have taken birth in the highway..
Tom: Why you think so?
Shelly: Because that is the place where all major accidents happen.
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Sim: Why it is hard to find the boys who are handsome, sensitive, caring and gentle?
Jaine: Because they already have a boyfriend.
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Husband messaged to his wife: Dear, I am just having my last glass of beer and coming home within 40 minutes and if i don't reach, Pl read same message again.
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Kristine: I am giving a grand party on my 19th birthday. Are you coming to attend it?
James: No, i attended that four years ago.
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Man: My wife is short of sense and scares a lot from water.
Friend: But how do you know this?
Man: Yesterday, when i reached home, she was in bath tub with the security guard.
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Steve: I have had bad luck with my both wives.
Angelina:Tell me, how?
Steve: The first wife left me and second one didn't.
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What is the different in in bride-groom and adopted dog?
After 2 years, dog is still love to have fun with you..
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Michal: Why women live longer, better and peaceful life?
John: Because, they don't have a wife.
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Q: What to do to spend happy life with women?
A: Well, you must love her but do not try to understand her.
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Patient: Doctor, i only have 55 short seconds to live..
Doctor: Pl wait, I'll attend you in a minute..
Patient: What a joke!
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Girl: Do you know that married men live longer than single man do?
Boy: Do you know married men have more willing to die.
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Engineer: Please drag folder to the right of the screen..
Funny client: Sir, your right or mine?
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Man: What is a century like to you?
God: It is like a short second.
Man: What is billion dollars like to you?
God: Like a penny..
Man: Can i have a penny?
God: How funny.. Just wait for a second..
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Son: Why do barbers become good drivers shortly?
Father replied in short: Because they know all the short cuts..
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First friend: Dear, i love lipsticks, they are very tasty.
Next Day..
Second friend: You are liar, i bought 10 lipsticks and ate them..
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A man was removing two wheels from his car.
A girl asked him: what are you doing??
Man: Can't you see the board, "Parking for two wheelers only".
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For me, a train station is where trains stop,
A bus station is where buses stop,
In my office, i have work station.
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Kid: What is husband and wife?
Granny: Husband is the head of the family but wife is the neck,
which can turn head anywhere.
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Hubby: I have noticed that you are searching for blood subject book. Why?
Spouse: Because i am going for blood test and i want to achieve highest !!
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Cristine: You know, behind every successful man, there is a woman!
Michal: But behind every unsuccessful man, there are two..
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Music Lover: You know, i love life but there is a one big trouble with it.
Girl: What?
Music Lover: There is no background music.
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Males want to get married because they are tired and stressed; Females do because they are so curious; but very shortly both face disappointment..
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Jacky: I worry too much about my work and job.
Anson: You should Stop it right now
Jacky: Why?
Anson: Simply because you are not paid enough to worry.
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Short and famous Proverb: Mamma's baby but Papa's maybe..
"Total absence of humor renders life impossible" ~ Collete
'Short jokes are capable of spreading fun and fun never ends here..'