... Short Funny Jokes - Laugh Starter

Short Funny Jokes - Laugh Starter

Hilarious Entertaining Stuff For All Age Groups

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Like Flower Platters


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Newly married couple...
Husband throws water on her wife..
Wife gets up angrily and shouts: Why did you do this???
Husband: You father told me - dear son - my daughter is like flower platters, never let her fade away...

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After 5 year year of wedding..
Husband bought white rose for wife..
Wife: What is this? white flower!! On valentine day - red rose should be gifted..
Husband: Now in life, peace is more required than love!

Thousands faults


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Man to his mother in law: You daughter has thousands of faults..
Mother in law: Yes son, that is why she could not blessed with great husband!

----

Man makes call to airport: How long is the journey of 5000 miles?
Receptionist: One second sir,,
Man: Disconnects and shouts - Drunken woman!!

What Happened of Different People from the corner of World


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A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a
beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 American men and 1 American woman
H. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman

What a Crazy coincidence! One month later, on various parts of the
island, the following was observed:

A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.

C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they spend
time with the German woman.

D. The two Greek men are happy together, and the Greek woman is cooking
& cleaning for them.

E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long
look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.

F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island
trying to sell them the Mexican woman.

G. The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman
is bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism,
the equal division of the household chores, how her last boyfriend
respected her opinion and treated her much better, and how her
relationship with her mother is improving.

H. What happened to the Indians????

The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the
Indian woman!

Three More...


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A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm wasting my time,'' She told he mother. '' I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t allow me to talk!''

Why did the frog cross the road?
To see if the chicken was okay!

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

Elephant's Shirt


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Rat to elephant: Will you please give me your shirt..
Elephant: Why, will you wear it??
Rat: No, I will not wear it.. There is my daughter's marriage, I will use it as a tent..

Good Time Pass


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This greasy spoon restaurant was so bad, on the menu there were even flies in the pictures.


Last year, I deducted 12,126 cartons of cigarettes as a business expense. The tax man said, "Don’t ever let us catch you without a cigarette in your hand.

I failed my driver’s test. The officer asked me "what do you do at a red light?" I said, I don’t know… look around, listen to the radio.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?"

I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for member.

I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked "Do you have any firearms with you?" I said: "What do you need?

Agree?


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Everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life, and a secret life.. Comment if you do not agree...

New Year Resolution Jokes


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My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.

I'm getting drunk just thinking about tomorrow night.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.

Tail..


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Boss: Why does dog moves its tail..
Man: Because Tails can not move dog!!

Killing Winter


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Please - do not go outside in search of perfect fine cute adorable person...
...
...
..
Because...
..
It is killing winter and I am sitting in side the home in my blanket...

Winter seems lie...


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OMG..... Winter is on its hike...
It is going to break all records..
Winter is so chill that it seems like it is going to give......
...
...
Exams tomorrow!!

Because you are..


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Yes, I am short...
No, I am not intimidated by you because you are taller..

Whatever, I will just date myself..

If you want breakfast in your bed, sleep in kitchen..

I am not anti-social..
I am anti-bullshit..

Grand Success


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Teacher: your son has failed - see his report card.
English - 20,
Math -15,
Science - 18,
Physics - 13,
Chemistry - 15,
Other - 17
Total - 98.
Dad: Wow Total is grand success - Who is the teacher of this subject!!:)

Not Feeling Well


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Girl : I am not feeling well today!
Boy : Oh no! That is really bad news, because I thought of taking you for shopping Today
Girl : Haha, I was joking
Boy : Me too!

A Beggar Found USD 10
.
.
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He Went To A 5 Star Hotel For
Dinner
.
.
.
.
.
Bill USD 50.
.
.
.
He Was Unable To Pay
.
Manager Handed Him To Police
.
He Gave USD 10 To Policeman&became Free..

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Its Called FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT Without MBA...

UK US Most Likeable Jokes


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You used to gift me a lot, but why you do not do this practice now?
Hubby: Lol, have you ever heard that the give food to fish even it caught!!

Height of Love Doubt!!
You send lovely romantic message to your wife and whats-app...
and she asks who sent it t you??

That man must have stopped believing on happiness..
Because he married t a woman named Happy..

Wife: You know, our neighbor wife goes with his husband 10 days for outing evey month, can you do that?
Husband: Yes, I asked her many times, buy she denied!!!