... Being Funny With Jokes

Being Funny With Jokes

Hilarious Entertaining Stuff For All Age Groups


Status Nowadays

Nowadays, people really be naughty on whatsapp.. even married women put their status as "Available" , Just saw a girls' status "Home alone"..
Is that a status or invitation? OMG - Materialistic world!!

Please - Let us go

Wife: Yesterday night, when you were on business trip, 4 robbers came in the house and tried to do that thing with me!
Husband: So you didn't stopped them?
Wife: Yes, I did but they said "Please let us go - we're very tired! :)

Wife is better-half so please give her half information - your life's half problems will be solved..

Ladies Never Understand

In yesterday gathering, one of my friend shared a joke about ladies misunderstanding. And yes, he was right.. Even men intend to do their benefit, they will take it in wrong way. OMG - what a mystery!

Here what he told:

A man was driving car--

A fat lady on two wheeler overtook him!

Man shouted: "Hey Buffalo"

Lady turned back and shouted: "You mad, dog, donkey, monkey, so and so..."

Suddenly she had an accident.

She was hit by a Buffalo crossing the road.

Moral: "Ladies never understand what a man wants to say"


One more on the same subject..

Women never listen properly..

Wife: I lost my keys again!

Hubby: It is in your jeans.

Wife: Please, don't dare to drag my family into this.

Handle these

Can yo handle these pranks? Really - Not! Don't believe - go through..

Teacher: Its raining like cats and dogs..
What would be next sentence after this line..
Student: Now electricity department will play hide and seek game. :)

Once thief steal girls gold ornaments..
People comment: Thank God, That thing has saved.
Girl: You fool! That thing enabled me wear those ornaments...

Girl Goes on date and worried mother gives her precautions
Girl laughs a lot and hugs her mother than says: We have to change this thinking - I am going to date with Angel so give me....

Girl: No, this is wrong..
Boy: But I love you..
Girl: Still, it is wrong..
Boy: I will marry you..
Girl: Stupid, mad... It is going in wrong direction...

An innocent wife

Once there was an innocent wife..:) Lol

Wife: Listen, Last year, you gifted me a Iron Bed, now on this coming b'day what will you give?
Hubby: I am thinking to put electric shock into it.

Who YOU are talking to?

After engineering, a guy joined a big MNC as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the pantry extension and shouted into the phone, "Get me
a coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded,
"You fool you've dialed the wrong extension!
Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"

"No," replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company,
you fool!"

The trainee shouted back, "And do you know
who YOU are talking to, you fool?"

"No." replied the Managing Director indignantly.

"Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.

Do You Know

Do you know how many leafs it takes to win the Stanley Cup?
- No? Me neither.

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.

Why is the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto?
- It's the only way the Stanley Cup will ever be in Toronto.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

Afraid of..

My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. –Rodney Dangerfield

Husband's snoring.

A woman called her doctor to complain about her husband's snoring.
"Is there anything you can do?" she said,"Well, there is one operation
that will cure your husband, but it's rather expensive.
$1,000 plus $450 a month for 36 months."
"OH MY GOSH!!!!" exclaimed the woman, "that's like leasing a sports car!"
"Hmm," the doctor murmured. "Too obvious, eh?".

One more drink

Excuse me please, one more drink
Could you make it strong cause I don't need to think
She broke my heart, my grace is gone
One more drink and I'll move on.
- The Dave Matthews Band

As Funny

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.
- Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

Top 10 Jokes

'Enjoy and Share these top 10 most precious jokes to get a break from daily tensions. You gonna laugh hard.'

Q: What is height of Secrecy?
A: Offering blank visiting cards.

Why did the banana go to the doctors?
Because he wasn't peeling well

Q: What is height of Craziness?
A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

A lion would never betray her wife but a tiger 'Wood' lol

Q: What is height of Honesty?
A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
They pull up their pants.

knock knock!
i m sick!
who i m sick.
i m sick of funny jokes.

Q: Girl to doctor - I have taken an I-pill by mistake. Now what should I do?
Doc: Make love within 48 hrs, otherwise the tablet will not work.

Q: How do you know if a blonde has been in your fridge?
There are lipstick marks on your cucumbers.

My Parents

My parents almost lost me as a child, but they didn't take me far enough into the woods. Every one has a list of problems and issues. But I am #1 on everyone's list.

Time Flies

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. Albert Einstein

Husband is

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.