... Short Funny Jokes - Laugh Starter

Short Funny Jokes - Laugh Starter

Hilarious Entertaining Stuff For All Age Groups


Because you are..

Yes, I am short...
No, I am not intimidated by you because you are taller..

Whatever, I will just date myself..

If you want breakfast in your bed, sleep in kitchen..

I am not anti-social..
I am anti-bullshit..

Grand Success

Teacher: your son has failed - see his report card.
English - 20,
Math -15,
Science - 18,
Physics - 13,
Chemistry - 15,
Other - 17
Total - 98.
Dad: Wow Total is grand success - Who is the teacher of this subject!!:)

Not Feeling Well

Girl : I am not feeling well today!
Boy : Oh no! That is really bad news, because I thought of taking you for shopping Today
Girl : Haha, I was joking
Boy : Me too!

A Beggar Found USD 10
He Went To A 5 Star Hotel For
Bill USD 50.
He Was Unable To Pay
Manager Handed Him To Police
He Gave USD 10 To Policeman&became Free..


UK US Most Likeable Jokes

You used to gift me a lot, but why you do not do this practice now?
Hubby: Lol, have you ever heard that the give food to fish even it caught!!

Height of Love Doubt!!
You send lovely romantic message to your wife and whats-app...
and she asks who sent it t you??

That man must have stopped believing on happiness..
Because he married t a woman named Happy..

Wife: You know, our neighbor wife goes with his husband 10 days for outing evey month, can you do that?
Husband: Yes, I asked her many times, buy she denied!!!

Can't we surprise Dad?

Cute Kid t: Mom, I need a brother now!
Mother: Dear kid, your father is in abroad, let him come, I will ask him!
Kid: Can't you give him Surprise!:) Hahahahaha..Loled

I am Sorry

Dr: I am sorry dear! I just forgot my gloves in your stomach while operating you! We need to do it again!
Mad guy: OMG! Just for the sake of 2 $ gloves? Please take the cash from my Good self!

Crazy in bank--
Cashier: Sorry, we can not accept this note as it is duplicate!
Man: So what does it matter to you? It is going to be deposited my account only!!!

Wife: You used to say that I will keep loving you even after marriage!
Man: Oh my Goodness! I didn't know that I will get married to you!

How beautiful our forest is

One tiger suppose to smoke, mouse comes and asks "Dear, leave this, lets see how beautiful our forest is" On the way, elephant was also suppose to have some bad thing, same thing told by mouse.
On the way - lion suppose has a pag of whiskey and mouse says him - leave this - see how wonderful our forest is!" And lion gives him 4 slaps.
Elephant asks why?
Lion says - from last four days - he takes some alcohol and does the same thing!

Foget Colddrinks

4 crazy people went to picnic..
When they reached there - they recalled that they forgot to take their soft drink.
So they decided that younger one will go to take it.
He said OK but until I come back - you will not eat anything?
1 day gone..
2 days gone..
Finally on 3rd day, 3 of them decided to eat something and as they were suppose to start - younger one, who was hidden behind the tree, shouted -
if you cheat me like this - I will not go to bring cold drinks!!

Start at Vegetable Shop

One a very Hot Star goes to vegetable shop and asks for a vegetable which can be used in seven things!

Salesman:Yes madam, Please take this Carrot!
1. You can mix it wit Potato, or
2. Have juice of it, or
3. Use it in Salid otherwise
4. Mash it with milk and sugar to make a sweet dish, else
5. Put it in Chinese noodle, or
6. Use it in Murraba, else
7. Make a Pickle of it!

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Status Nowadays

Nowadays, people really be naughty on whatsapp.. even married women put their status as "Available" , Just saw a girls' status "Home alone"..
Is that a status or invitation? OMG - Materialistic world!!

Please - Let us go

Wife: Yesterday night, when you were on business trip, 4 robbers came in the house and tried to do that thing with me!
Husband: So you didn't stopped them?
Wife: Yes, I did but they said "Please let us go - we're very tired! :)

Wife is better-half so please give her half information - your life's half problems will be solved..

Ladies Never Understand

In yesterday gathering, one of my friend shared a joke about ladies misunderstanding. And yes, he was right.. Even men intend to do their benefit, they will take it in wrong way. OMG - what a mystery!

Here what he told:

A man was driving car--

A fat lady on two wheeler overtook him!

Man shouted: "Hey Buffalo"

Lady turned back and shouted: "You mad, dog, donkey, monkey, so and so..."

Suddenly she had an accident.

She was hit by a Buffalo crossing the road.

Moral: "Ladies never understand what a man wants to say"


One more on the same subject..

Women never listen properly..

Wife: I lost my keys again!

Hubby: It is in your jeans.

Wife: Please, don't dare to drag my family into this.

Handle these

Can yo handle these pranks? Really - Not! Don't believe - go through..

Teacher: Its raining like cats and dogs..
What would be next sentence after this line..
Student: Now electricity department will play hide and seek game. :)

Once thief steal girls gold ornaments..
People comment: Thank God, That thing has saved.
Girl: You fool! That thing enabled me wear those ornaments...

Girl Goes on date and worried mother gives her precautions
Girl laughs a lot and hugs her mother than says: We have to change this thinking - I am going to date with Angel so give me....

Girl: No, this is wrong..
Boy: But I love you..
Girl: Still, it is wrong..
Boy: I will marry you..
Girl: Stupid, mad... It is going in wrong direction...

An innocent wife

Once there was an innocent wife..:) Lol

Wife: Listen, Last year, you gifted me a Iron Bed, now on this coming b'day what will you give?
Hubby: I am thinking to put electric shock into it.