Husband: My wife is an angel.
Friends: You are lucky, my wife is still alive..
After 20 years of marriage, what married men think?
They realize that there are so many options available for suicide, like: Poison, jumping from a building, sleeping pills, hanging, lying on train tracks, but why we chose this marriage. It is like slow and sure poison!!
After 10 year of marriage: Husbands think that we are living proof that women can take a joke on..
Wife: Do you know that some people make others happy, wherever they go.
Husband: But You make me happy, whenever you go!
Doctor: Has there been any insanity in your family?
Wife: Yes, my hubby thinks he is the boss!
Lady friend: Which book do you like the most?
She replied: My husband's cheque book..
Q: Husband's credit card stolen but he did not report it, why?
A: Because the thief was spending less than his wife.
A married man saying..
Man: Before marriage, a man yearn for the women he loves.
After marriage the "y" become silent.
Two people chat:-
First: What is the difference between wife and neighbor's wife.?
Second replied: Wife is like chocolate, you can have anytime but neighbor's wife is like an
ice cream, you should have immediately..!!!!
Husband: My wife is missing.
Postmaster: How funny, This is post office not police station..
Husband: Oh sorry!! i am so happy that i don't know where to go !!
Married man says to his bachelor friend,
Marriage is a three ring circus ...
Bachelor asked: how??
Married man: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering...
Wife: Sweet heart..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...??
You've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
Once a husband & wife quarreled.
They went for an drive and suddenly a dirty, worst and bad animal come in front of their car.
Husband in anger said: Are those your relatives?
Wife replied: Yes, my in-laws.!!!
Mother to daughter: Good, you talk on phone just for half an hour, instead of two hour.
Daughter: that was wrong number, mom !!
Wife; It's my birthday, where is my gift??
Married-man; Today, I offer you myself..
Wife; i am sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Interviewer: Where you born?
Married-man: in California.
Interviewer: which part?
Married-man: All of mine.
Mr jack: You are wearing your marriage ring in wrong finger..
Mr. smith replied: Yes, because i married to a wrong woman !!
On golden anniversary:-
Wife asked: Do you remember when you proposed to me?
Husband replied: "Yes honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."
Husband: The is the meaning of 'WIFE' is 'Without intimation fights every time'
Wife: No dear it means 'With idiot for ever'..
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
Wife: I want to divorce my husband.
Wife: Because i feel that this man is not faithful.
Judge: How can you say this?
Wife: Not even a single kid resembles him..
"People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
- Abraham Lincoln