Good: My spouse has been missing for a whole month
Bad: The police have said prepare for the worst.
Very Bad: Now, I had to go and get her clothes back from the charity house..
Once a short temper husband was teaching his spouse short cuts of driving, when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep and downhill grade.
Wife: I can not stop, she cried, now what to do?
Husband: Brace yourself and try to run your car on something cheap.
A friends said to his friend that i have quit smoking.
Second day he found him doing smoking!!
Friend: You told me that you have quit smoking.
2nd friend thought and replied shortly: I am into first phase, I have quit buying..
Son: Why do you have problem of cavities?
Father: Because your mom is so sweet!
Twins were siting at bathroom.
One was laughing and one was sad.
Dad asked: What happened?
One kid replied happily: Mom has got him bath two times in this winter..
Q: What is Manager?
A: A manager, Who flies in, craps on everything, makes a lot of noise and then leaves.
Man: Do you know how businessman talks?
Woman: I don't know..
Man: They say my life is like math and i am trying to add my
income, subtract from my weight, divide my time and avoid multiplying..