Call me Doctor

A man was riding the subway after a hard day at the office. A young guy sat down next to him and said:

"Call me a doctor! Call me a doctor!"

The businessman asked: "What's the matter? Are you sick?"

The young man replied: "No, You know, I just graduated from a medical school."

***

Once, at lunch at an school, the cafe was serving swiss cheese. A little girl received her meal and was disgusted by it.
"Miss lunch lady," she said at the end of the line, "I don't like the holes in my cheese."
"Well It's fine," she said. "Just eat around them and leave them on your plate."

Want Divorce

Lady asked to Judge in divorce court: "Your honor, I want to get a divorce from
my husband."
Judge asked: "Let us know the reason of it?"
Lady: "It is because he is not at all faithful to me."
Judge asked: "How can you be so sure about it?"
She replied, "My lord, See, there is not a single child resembles to him."
__________

A Lady complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came back home so late,
no matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and try to do what I did. Once my husband came home at two o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: 'Is that
you, John?' And that cured him."

"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbor said, "You see, his name is Ricky."
___________

A man was sharing with his fast friends, "When my spouse is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my kids and even at our dogs too and nobody dares
answer her."

One of his friends asked. "And when you are angry, what do you do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house
and none of them dare to answer back. Ha Ha"

How to Write

Father: You are looking so happy today, What new think did you learn today in school?
Son: Dad, I came to know How to write..
Father: Good, So what did you write?
Son: Well, that I don't know as didn't learn how to read yet..
________

Husband: OK, Can you answer me that what would you call an alligator in a vest?
Wife: Ha Ha, Very simple, Its a investigator..
________

Boy asked to his gym coach: I want to impress my girlfriend, Pl suggest me which machine should i use?
Gym Coach: Best machine to impress any girl is an ATM Machine.
________

Husband: Am i look like a fool?
Wife: No at all, but what is the value of my opinion compared to that of hundreds of others !!
________

Man at gift shop: I want to buy a ladies wrist watch..
Shopkeeper asked shortly: Do you want it for your spouse or should i show you a branded one??
______

Dad: My son, You are now 18 years old.
It is the best time to discuss with you about love and dating.
Son: Sure dad, Pl ask me your doubts.. I am here to help you out!!
______

One lady said to another: If your hubby sends you romantic messages then be very happy.. It is really a pleasure..
But think who is sending those messages to your husband..??
My job is done..
____________

Son: Dad, what is marriage?
Dad: Dear, It is an institution where a man loses his bachelor's degree and female gets her Masters one!
______

Man at book store: I need a book on topic 'Short ideas on full control on women'
Salesman: Pl move into our next row of 'fiction section'.