Laugh Starter Jokes

Wife Who is Sweet

What would you call a wife who is sweet, innocent, beautiful, supportive, caring, good cook, never demand, no com complaint?
Imagination...

Man at work while his lady and her boyfriend are in the house. Her seven year old chile comes in, and after seeing them making love he hides himself in the wardrobe and watches them. All of a sudden the hubby comes and spouse hides her lover in the wardrobe, without knowing that her son is in there. Boy:
- It's dark here.
- Yes it is.
- I've got a soccer ball.
- That's nice.
- Do you want to buy it?
- No, thanks.
- My father is outside.
- Ok, how much?
- 350 dollars.
After a few weeks man and boy run into each other again in the wardrobe. Boy:
- It's dark here.
- Yes it is.
- I've got a soccer cleats.
Remembering what happened last time, man asks:
- How much?
- 650 dollars.
- Ok.
After few days, father says to his son:
- Lets go and play soccer.
- I can't, I sold the ball and the cleats.
- How much did you get?
- 1000 dollars.
- That is terrible, how could you ask so much money.... that's much more than they are worth. That's a sin, so you should go to the church and confess.
Father takes his son to the church confessional. Boy gets in, closes the door and says:
- It's dark here.
Priest:
- Don't start with that argument again!!!

Tests and Fun

Mental people are given a test to prove they are getting normal, so their teacher draws a door on the wall and orders them to go and open that.. They start fighting but one remains sitting and the teacher goes to him and asks why he didn't join others people and he smiled and says "let them fight - But I have the key of that door"

________

There were a test between three friends men on a hill with their watches.
The first friend threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The second friend threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The third friend threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and
caught it.
The other two men were confused and asked the third one - how he did it.
The third one replied, "So simple, my watch is 7 minutes slow!"

Why Can't Man Marry

Why can't a man marry his widow's sister?
Simply - because he is already dead!

Good, Bad and Worse

Good: Your wife and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: Your wife can't find her birth control pills.
Worse: Your 15 year old daughter borrowed them.
_____

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets.
Worse: You had a vasectomy three years ago.
_____

Good: Your youngest child is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the girl next door.
Worse: So are you..
_____

Good: Your oldest son understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Worse: He looks better than your wife.
_____

Good: Your 17 year old daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Worse: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Worst: She makes more money than you do.

Room Service

Me called at room service - Can you send a towel?
Response: Sure sir but please wait 10 minutes, someone else is using it.

Telling a Story

The moment when you start telling a story and you realize no one is listening, so you slowly fade out and pretend you never said anything.