My Parents

My parents almost lost me as a child, but they didn't take me far enough into the woods. Every one has a list of problems and issues. But I am #1 on everyone's list.

Time Flies

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. Albert Einstein

Husband is

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.