Jokes

Owner: It is the one hundred years old statue you have broken, the museum owner said.
Funny visitor: Oh, thank god, i thought it was new one..

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An idiot man asks a woman to stop talking ,
but a wise and smart man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful and gorgeous, when her lips are closed..!!

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Man: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Friend: I is the....
Man: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Friend: OK, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet

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Q: How do you make an idiot laugh on Friday?
A: Share him some jokes on Wednesday!!

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A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
Bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "that Idiot driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead; I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Man: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Idiot "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Man: No, that's wrong
Idiot: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!.

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Last night some monkeys came running to my room.They wanted to trouble good people..I suggested your nae.They said oh!!! no!! !we can't disturb poor boss...

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John: What is your secret of success? Earlier, you were so poor..
Ronni: I made partnership with a rich person. I had lots of work experience and he had money..
John: But that man looks so poor now..
Ronni: Yes, now i have money and he has experience!!

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You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?
Never mind, it's pointless.

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Mom: My dear daughter, you birthday is coming soon, so what present do you want?
Daughter: A very small gift, Just a music system with a luxury car around..

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Mack: Why did god created male before female?
Michal: Because he didn't want any advice..

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"Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back."

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