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Girlfriend - Boyfriend Jokes


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The sweet, caring, loyal, loving boyfriend -
never fights,
never argues,
never takes advantage,
never leaves,
never slaps,
never makes you cry,
never hurts,
.
.
.
and doesn’t exist!



Boyfriend: I am fond of your teeth. I just love them.
Girlfriend: Thanks, but why so, what is special in my teeth?
Boyfriend: Because yellow comes in my favorite color category..



Love, You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.


Boys and girls like each others, get into love, it is all because of misunderstanding..
But they immediately do break ups when understand one another..



Girlfriend to Boyfriend: I was looking something to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday.
Boyfriend: That was really so thoughtful gift. Why didn't you gift that?
Girlfriend: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose.



GF: Lets go to McDonald?
BF: First spell its name..
GF: Hmm, lets go to KFC
BF: No, first tell me full form of KFC.
GF: Leave it, lets go for ride..



Girlfriend to boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be your forever.
Boyfriend: Thanks for the warning!!



Once a guy proposed a girl..But she refused the proposal.
And imagine what happened??
...........
...........
...........
They lived happily forever..



Pam: Why did you left your last girlfriend?
Spank: She was so horrible that Facebook denied her profile image and throw her back to MySpace..



Hey, I think If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous.



Gf messaged to his old boyfriend and asked: What is the meaning of IDK.
Bf replied: I don't know..
Gf: Oh my god, How dumb the world is, nobody knows the meaning!!



After Valentine's Day
15th Feb:slap Day
16th Feb:-Gift return Day
17th Feb:-Fight Day
18th Feb:-Sorry Day
19th Feb:-Break-up Day
20th Feb:-Search for next Day



Girl: I am waiting so much for the time we will get married. After that, I would love to solve all your problems, worries and reduce your stress..
Boy: Wow, so nice of you.. But honey I don't feel that i have any troubles or problems..
Girl: Because you are not married yet!!




Girlfriend: What do you call a female in heaven?
Boyfriend: An angel!
Girlfriend: And what about crowd of them in heaven?
Boyfriend: A host of angels!
Girlfriend: And what if all the females are in heaven?
Boyfriend: Peace and happiness on the earth..



Girlfriend: Today is my birthday and you haven't bring anything for me. Why?
Boyfriend: Because i wanted to surprise you!!



Boy in college to another boy: As per my experience, the girls are as good as road.
2nd boy: How?
First boy: Because the more the curve a road has, the more the dangerous that road is!



Sunny and Jorge lost their girlfriends and went for their search.
Sunny: How does your girlfriend looks?
Jorge: She has very attractive face, innocent eyes, good height and fantastic smile.
Jorge: Tell me about your gf?
Sunny: Leave mine, lets find yours only...



Girlfriend: I will marry you only when you do some act of bravery..
Boyfriend: I am with you, it is not less than any work of bravery!



Girlfriend: If i am walking with my beautiful friends on the street. How can you change this situation into exclamatory sentence?
Boyfriend: Awesome..



Boy: We always wish to be girl's first love.
Girl: But we are different: We love to be boy's last romance!



Boyfriend: Amazing world, only 25% boys have mind, very short figure!!
Girlfriend: What about Rest?
Boyfriend: Well, rest have GIRLFRIENDS!!



Do you know that your girlfriend closes her eyes while kissing, considering your face. This is how they love you all the time!



Q: Tell me the difference between motorbike and boyfriend?
A: Well, bike is first kicked than used and boyfriend is first used than kicked...



Boyfriend: Do you know that exams are like girlfriend?
Girlfriend: How funny?
Boyfriend: Yes, it is.. They are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful..



Boyfriend: Dear, i want to give a gift to my girlfriend, what should i give?
Friend: Diamond ring..
Boyfriend: No, i want to gift something which she has never used before..
Friend: Alright, you can gift her gents underwear...



Boyfriend: Do you want a kiss?
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Do you remember what i just said?
Girlfriend: Do you want a kiss?
Boyfriend: Yes, if you insist..



Girlfriend: I want to end up our relationship, I am going to return you everything you gave me..
Boyfriend: What a joke? Okay then, let's start with Kisses..!!!"



Girlfriend: Are your sure that you love me only?
Boyfriend: Yes, i have checked my whole list again..



Girlfriend: What is cheapest thing to be taxed?
Boyfriend: Your brain!



Girlfriend: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, problems to
lighten your burden.
Boyfriend: It's very good darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girlfriend: Well that's because we aren't married yet..



Before Marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
BUT
After marriage: Simply read from bottom to top..



Girl in a gift shop: Please show me some greeting cards with message "I love you only?"
Shopkeeper: Here are some of the best!
Girl: Wow, Please pack 20 cards!



Boyfriend: Please keep me in your brain not in heart..
Girlfriend: How funny, why not heart?
Boyfriend: Because more empty space means more comfort!!



Bf: What did you get the small medal for?
Gf: For acting.
Bf: And big medal for?
Gf: To stop acting..



Boy: You must work in a library..
Girl: Why do you think like that?
Boy: Because whenever i see you, my circulation goes high!



The prospective son-in-law was asked by his girlfriend's father..
Son, are you able to support a family?
Son in law: Well, no, sir,' he replied. I was just planning to support your daughter..
The rest of you will have to find for yourselves.!!



Boyfriend: I love you, I could die for you.
Girlfriend: How soon??
Boyfriend: What a joke...



Girlfriend: Its the time we should marry.
Boyfriend: Very funny, but who will marry us??



What did the artist say to his sweet girlfriend?
I really love you with all my art!



Bf: Where did you get this big eyes?
Gf: They came with the face!



I noticed that my girlfriend wants me to be more loving; so I.....
found one another...



Gf: Your friend is going to engage with a ugly girl.
Bf: i was also informed the same before engaged to you!



Boy: Do you have boyfriend?
Girl: Yes, i do have..
Boy: Me too..

*****

After a Blind date..
Girl: It was the worst date of my life..
Mother: Why so?
Girl: The man owns 1965 Rolls Royce
Mother: That is great thing..
Girl: But he is the original the owner!



Gf: You always keep silent.
Bf: Well, it is my nature.
Gf: But somewhere i read that its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and clear all doubts!



Gf: What is the meaning of way and wave?
Bf: On which males walk is a way and on which females walks is wave..



Due to some reason, bf gf got fight.
Next day:
Bf calls: Hello, how are you dear?
Gf: I am busy with my new love, can i ignore you some other time?



Girl: That handsome hunk is creating problem for me..
Friend: But i am also noticing him, he has even not looked at you..
Girl: Yes, he is not looking at me and i have a problem with this attitude..



Girl: Do you know from where 'I Love You' originated?
Boy: From china, because there is no warranty, if succeed, works forever and if not than never!!



- Tell me, If a black boy and his black girlfriend are in the car. Who's driving?
- Of-course, the cop!



"Don't hate me because i am beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks i am."

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