Short Jokes - Archived

Michal: I have a quiet home life.
Stella: Great, how?
Michal: She does not speak to me and i do not speak to her..
_______

Wife: Hey! look at that funny guy who has drunk..
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: He is my ex-boyfriend, i denied him for marriage.
Husband: Oh my god! He is still celebrating his freedom...
______

Girl: Do you know, why were females created before males?
Boy: Because God needed a rough funny draft before the final copy!
______

Monika: What do you call the parents of ghost?
Smith: Transparents!
______

Q: What does make a short man to think about candle light dinner?
A: Well, because of Power fail!!
_______

Dad: Son, you take two short hours to go to your in-laws home but take four hours to come back, How come?
Son: Because there are five gears in car to go forward in short and only one gear to reverse it..
______

Common lines shortly after boys get drunk :-
--> You are my brother..
--> I will drive the car..
--> I love you from my heart..
--> Today i am not feeling drunk..
--> Don't think that i am saying all this because i am drunk..
--> Let's have one more short glass..
--> Ask me what you need, i can even die for you..
--> Don't teach your father..
And the best one in short...
----> i will stop drinking from tomorrow..

______

Teacher: Write a short essay on football match.
All students were busy but one student was free..
Teacher: why are you not writing anything?
Funny student: "Miss, Match draw due to rain.."
______

Mom: If the plural of mouse is mice than what should be plural of baby?
Son: It should be Twins..
______

Mack: Why are looking so tensed?
Andrew: Yes, because i am going to be father?
Mack: Oh, that's the good news.
Andrew: No, it's not. My wife does not aware about it..
______

Boxer: How high my temperature is?
Doctor: A hundred and two!
Boxer: Oh, but what is the world record?