Short Funny Jokes

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'Enjoy this section to make more smiling faces around'

Man: Do you know that i used to have a handle on life, but..
Friend: But what happened?
Man: But it broke!!
______

Tenant: Sorry, i can't pay my rent this month.
Landlord: What a joke? You said the same words previous month..
Tenant: Yes sir, i kept my words..
_______

Sandy: Me and my wife were very happy for eighteen years.
Nicky: then?
Sandy: Then we met and we our happiness disappeared..
______

Dad: What is the name of an important thing we have today but we did not have that 12 years ago?
Son: Its me..
______

Patient: What is the cost of plastic surgery?
Doctor: It is near about 5,000$.
Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic?
______

Son: Why is the bride dressed in cute sweet white dress?
Mother: Because this is the most happiest day of her life.
Son: Than why is boy dressed in black?
_______

Teacher: What do you give sick bird?
Student: Tweetment..
_______

Q: Why do the politicians look like funny and short diapers?
A: Because they need to be changed frequently for the same reason!
_______

Harry: Why are so unhappy?
Mack: Jasmine said to me that she is not going to talk with me for 10 days and today is the 10th day..
_______

Do you know why God made man before woman?
Yes because God wanted to give him time to think of an answer for her first question..
_______

Passenger: How much would you take me shortcut to my home?
Driver: 5$.
Passenger: And how much for my luggage?
Drive: Oh sir, that goes free..
Passenger: Fine, take my luggage only and i will go home by walk..
_______

Tom: I often get nervous and frightened during driving testes.
Psychologist: Don't worry, You will pass it eventually.
Tom: But sir, i am the Examiner..
_______

Once a short funny fat man was walking through the road and nearby some naughty guys were playing football..
They lost their football and saw this short fat man. One of the boy shouted "Is that your tummy or you swallowed our football?"
______

Tom: Can you imagine this world without men?
Harry: Wow, there would be no crime and lots of happy fat women around..
______

There are lots of faults with women.
But sweet men have only two faults: Whatever they say. Whatever they do.
______

Spouse: I wish I was daily newspaper.. so I would be in your hands whole day.
Hubby: Me too wish the same.. so I could have a fresh and new one daily.

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